Newsletter and jokes 24 September 2020

Hi all 
Trust you are all enjoying what is more-or-less the start of spring.  
At the movies this week, we have Scooby-Do's back story in the form of 
Scoob!, while an older audience can enjoy the female-friendly The High Note. 
There are also limited screenings of Korean boyband supergroup BTS's  
documentary of their recent tour, in Break the Silence. 
The sad news is that Hollywood has decided to postpone the release of some  
upcoming big-budget films, including Black Widow, West Side Story, and  
Death On the Nile. For now, No Time to Die, Dune, and Wonder Woman 1984, 
are unaffected, but the situation may change depending on how things go  
with Covid, and probably the fallout from the US elections. 
Enjoy! :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
New this week 
* Scoob! (PG7-9 LVH) 
* The High Note (13 LD) 
* Break the silence: The Movie   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (cellphone wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Thanks, Ian 
When I got engaged in my early 20s, my wife-to-be was a soft-spoken young  
lady who rarely raised her voice or spouted off a retort regardless of the  
often snarky remarks I made about one thing or another.  
One day, I asked her why WE got engaged but SHE got a diamond ring.  
She said, “Well, you’re getting me.”  
I said, “But you’re getting me!”  
“Right,” she replied, just as calm as you please,  
“and you had to put up a diamond ring to make it an even swap.” 
Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don’t want  
them to become politicians in the process. 
                    —JOHN F. KENNEDY 
For the second week in a row, my son and I were the only ones who showed up  
for his soccer team’s practice.  
Frustrated, I told him, “Please tell your coach that we keep coming for  
practice but no one is ever here.”  
My son rolled his eyes and said, “He’ll just tell me the same thing he did  
“Which was?”  
“That practice is now on Wednesdays, not Tuesdays.” 
My young son declared, “When I grow up, I’m going to marry you, Mommy.” 
“You can’t marry your own mother,” said his older sister. 
“Then I’ll marry you.” 
“You can’t marry me either.” 
He looked confused, so I explained,  
“You can’t marry someone in your own family.” 
“You mean I have to marry a total stranger?!” he cried. 
Whoever coined the phrase “the pitter-patter of little feet” clearly never  
heard a four-year-old walk. 
Mail from the bank was piling up for my daughter, who was away at college.  
So I called her. “Open one up and see what it is,” she said.  
I unsealed an envelope. “It says your account has insufficient funds.”  
“That’s got to be a mistake,” she said. “I still have plenty of checks left.” 
Just as I got out of the shower, my three-year-old son walked into the  
bathroom. As I frantically grabbed for my robe, he quickly assured me,  
“It’s OK, Mom; I won’t laugh.” 
A friend knew that she’d overdone it with the gifts last Easter when her  
kid woke up to all the booty and shouted, “This is the best Christmas ever!” 
Sitting on her mother’s lap, reading The Book of Shapes, my daughter came  
to the triangle page. “What’s this shape?” her mom asked.  
Wheels of cogitation began to spin (signified by a mouth scrunched to one  
side) and after a brief pause (and with the certainty of a jury foreman)  
she said, “A circle.”  
Mom asked her, “Are you sure?” (As she did whenever an answer was  
But my daughter, sensing that something was amiss, said,  
“Yep,” and then pausing, added, “but it’s not a very good one.” 

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