Newsletter and jokes 2 October 2020

Hi all 
There are two new western movies, and two from Bollywood. Both western 
films deal with family unity and healing, but in different ways.  
Four Kids and It is a family/kiddie merger film, while the adults-only 
Made in Italy is about healing wounds and moving on after loss. 
From Bollywood, me have the romantic dramedy Dil Bechara, and plenty of  
fast cars / fast woman / fast action in Khaali Peeli. 
Enjoy! :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
New this week 
* Four Kids and It (PG V) 
* Made in Italy (16 LD) 
* Dil Bechara (Hindi) 
* Khaali Peeli (Hindi)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (cellphone wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Thanks, Ian 
Jogging is very beneficial. It’s good for your legs and your feet. 
It’s also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed. 
At a baby shower for my first child, my 13-year-old brother let the  
excitement of the moment get the better of his emotions, and he giddily  
announced to the guests, 
“I can’t wait till the baby is born so I can find out if I’m an uncle or an 
Ours was a family of eight children, but only one boy.  
One day when we were young, I was complaining to my brother about having  
six annoying sisters. He wasn’t having it. 
“What are you griping about?” he said. “I have seven!” 
I hate it when I’m 20 minutes into my run on the treadmill and I look down  
and the timer says 43 seconds. 
FIRST DATE: Small talk, getting to know each other. 
SECOND DATE: I explain why I don’t think outer space is real. 
There’s no third date, usually. 
During difficult times, humour can create a sense of social belonging. 
Since the coronavirus outbreak, my 47-year-old son has been washing his  
hands religiously.  
In fact, he said, “I’ve been washing my hands so much, I found the answers 
to an old mathematics test from when I was at school.” 
PREDICTION: There will be a minor baby boom in nine months and one day in  
2033, we shall witness the rise of the QUARANTEENS. 
Now I know why dogs get so excited to go for walks. 
Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, a young woman asked,  
“I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?” 
“Only one kiss per metre,” replied the smirking male assistant. 
“That’s fine,” replied the young woman. “I’ll take ten metres.” 
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the shop  
assistant hurriedly measured and wrapped up the cloth, then held it 
out teasingly.  
The young woman snapped up the package and pointed to a little old 
man standing beside her. “Grandpa will pay the bill,” she smiled. 
While on a school field trip to an amusement park, a teacher lost his 
wallet. Gathering the group together, he told the kids, “There was $300 in 
my wallet. I will give a $20 reward to anyone who finds it.” 
A voice from the back of the group chimed in, “And I’ll give $25! 
A market researcher approached me and said, “Can I ask you ten questions?” 
“Go on,” I said. 
“Question number one: Have you ever blacked out?” 
“And finally, question number ten.” 
A husband stepped on one of those measuring scales that tell you your 
fortune and weight and dropped in a coin. 
“Look at this,” he said to his wife, showing her a small, white printout. 
“It says I’m energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover.” 
“Yeah,” his wife nodded. “And it has your weight wrong, too.” 
Interesting fact: a shark will only attack you if you’re wet. 
Q: What do sharks do when they have a big choice to make? 
A: Chews wisely. 
Last night I thought I was being chased by a shark. 
This morning, I realised it was just a bream.  
Q: What do you call an acrobat in shark-infested waters? 
A: A balanced breakfast. 
Q: Why did the shark cross the Great Barrier Reef? 
A: To get to the other tide. 

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