Newsletter and jokes 23 October 2020

Hi all 
We've got a bit of something for most this week. 
First up, for the kiddies, is a big-screen version of Dragon Rider, which 
was made in eastern Europe rather tha Hollywood. 
Keeping with the theme of "super-nature," this week's big release is the  
action-thriller-disaster Greenland. 
The last new release is South Africa's entry into the "found footage" genre 
(think Blair Witch), which takes a look at what happened when aliens landed 
on a remote farm. 
And lastly, the next three episodes in the Harry Potter series are now 
screening on the big IMAX screens.  
I've added the Epic Cinemas venues to the showtimes pages.  
Enjoy! :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
New this week 
* Dragon Rider (PG LV IAT) 
* Greenland (13 LV) 
* Wesens (13 LN)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Thanks, Ian 
While serving in South Korea, I was assigned guard duty. The ensign issued  
me a gun and a whistle, but I quickly realized there were no bullets.  
Brandishing the empty weapon, I asked, “What do I do if I run into trouble?” 
The ensign replied, “That’s what the whistle’s for.” 
During basic training, our drill sergeant often led us in a game of Simon  
Says to help teach us the marching commands.  
“I bet you can’t get me out,” a private insisted. 
Challenge accepted, the drill sergeant went through the commands, sometimes 
beginning with “Simon says” and sometimes not. The private was as good as 
he claimed and stayed in the game until the sergeant commanded, 
“Simon says, jump up!”  
The private leaped into the air and landed again. 
“You’re out!” the sergeant shouted. “Simon said jump up, but not down!” 
In several Romance languages, the word for roller coaster literally  
translates to “Russian mountains,” probably because the ride came from  
Russia to France in the 19th century.  
Funnily enough, the Russian phrase translates to “American slides,” perhaps  
because of the popularity of the ride in the United States.  
And the Croatian word translates to “train of death” - which means you  
might not want to ride one there. 
Space ... 
It’s funny they call them “unidentified flying objects.”  
I could identify them right away.  
Those are UFOs. 
Astronomer discovering an asteroid coming to destroy Earth:  
This will make me famous but not for long. 
If aliens ever attack, we will probably be fine unless they realize how 
easily we are influenced by traffic cones. 
The person who named the Sea of Tranquility on the moon had to be a Real 
Estate Agent. 
People who study meteors are called weatherologists. 
My review of our solar system: 1 star. 

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