Newsletter and jokes 13 November 2020

Hi all 
The biggest release is the action thriller Honest Thief, with Liam Neeson,  
which may finally challenge Greenland for the top of the box office. 
Also on widish release is the adult/horror version of the much-remade 
"Freaky Friday", simply titled Freaky. The ageres is higher than other 
western countries, which may affect the takings. 
A new local release based on a novel by Dalene Matthee, Toorbos, caters 
to the romantic side of the market, while the art market can check out  
Mrs Lowry and her famous painter son.  
Lastly Bollywood has a comedy horror as an alternative to Freaky. 
Enjoy! :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
New this week 
* Honest Thief (13 LV) 
* Toorbos (13 SP) 
* Freaky (18 LSVDPH) 
* Mrs Lowry & Son (PG10-12 V) 
* Laxmii (Hindi)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Thanks, Ian 
I used to run into this one guy at the coffee shop who never could  
remember my name.  
To prod his memory, I pulled out a dollar and said,  
“My name is Bill, just like this one-dollar bill.” 
“Got it,” he said.  
A few days later, our paths again crossed. 
This time he gave me a big, confident greeting: 
“Well, hello, George!” 
My last New Year’s resolution was to lose ten kilos.  
I missed it by 15 kilos! 
A strip club near where my daughter lived shut its doors for a while in 
response to COVID-19.  
A billboard outside announced: “Sorry, we’re clothed!”  
After my wife and I took our seats at a restaurant, the waiter arrived to  
take our order. First, he let us know that the special of the day was twin  
My wife was not impressed.  
“That’s silly,” she said. “How can you tell they’re twins?” 
Husband: Don’t be angry at me, but I accidentally spilled grease all over  
the oven. 
Me: How about I won’t be angry at you, but you have to clean it. 
Husband: I’d rather you be angry at me. 
I landed me in a rehab center, connected to oxygen 24 hours a day. 
One day the oxygen ran low, so I asked an attendant for a fresh tank. 
“You’ll have to wait,” she told me. “We’re out of tanks and waiting for a  
As she walked away, she muttered,  
“This wouldn’t happen if patients would just stop using ’em all up.” 
I called to congratulate my parents on their 24th wedding anniversary. 
“So, next year’s your 25th,” I said to my step-mom. “Is that silver, or 
wood, or what?” 
“Guts, I think,” she replied. 
During recess, I sat on the bench with my first-grade girls as they whiled  
away the time playing with my long ponytail. 
“Mrs. Rudiak, you are so beautiful!” one of them said. She then followed  
with the ultimate compliment: 
“You look just like a horse.” 
We have a team member called Jimmy who has a habit of writing rude,  
dismissive messages to difficult customers. 
If they complain about Jimmy, we apologize and say he’s been fired. 
Of course, Jimmy is totally made up. 
The little girl I babysit asked if I have a boyfriend. I said,  
“Not anymore,” and she said, “Boyfriends are a waste of time.”  
Then she turned to her brother and told him,  
“You’re gonna be a waste of time.” 
I hated going on job interviews until I realized the perfect answer 
to the question “What is your biggest weakness?” is “My interview skills.” 

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