Hi all No new releases this week :-( At least now venues are able to have the main evening screening, which should help business. Forthcoming attractions https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm List of all movies showing https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm Same list sorted by Age Restriction https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating. https://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) Enjoy :-) Cheers, Ian --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Looking out a diner window, I noticed a woman struggling to parallel park. After a few minutes of watching her inch up, inch back, inch out, and inch in, I went outside to offer my help, which she readily accepted. After I parked her car, a man came over to thank me. “You’re welcome,” I said. “Are you her husband?” “No,” he replied. “I’m the guy parked behind her.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Decades ago, I told a guy that I was studying meteorology. Him: Cool. So when’s the next one coming? Me: The next thunderstorm? Him: No, the next meteor. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thinking about the time that I said that I was distantly related to Marie Curie and a guy explained, “It’s pronounced Mariah Carey.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Confronting my husband, I demanded, “How come you never tell me I look pretty? Even my sisters tell me I look pretty sometimes.” “Your sisters are absolutely right,” he said grandly. “You do look pretty sometimes.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I received a call from a telemarketer asking to speak with my husband. “Unfortunately, that’s impossible,” I told him. “He’s in heaven.” “In that case,” he said, “what’s the best time to reach him?” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- After she quit smoking, my mother gained 50 pounds in six months. Concerned, she asked her doctor, “Do you think I have an overactive thyroid?” “No,” he said. “You have an overactive fork.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I’m a letter carrier, and I occasionally run into people from my mail route at local establishments. One Sunday, my wife and I were shopping, and, of course, I was not wearing my postal uniform. A young woman who lived on my route approached us in the dairy aisle. She asked me, “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” I smiled and said, “Yes, I’m your mailman.” With a broad grin, she replied, “Oh, I didn’t recognize you with clothes on.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I’m sorry, but I can’t respond to your work e-mail. I’ve taken my bra off for the night. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Three male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful female poodle. They all scramble to reach her first but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. Aware of her obvious effect on the suitors, she tells them, “The first one who uses the words liver and cheese together in an imaginative sentence can go out with me.” “I love liver and cheese!” the golden retriever blurts out. “Oh, how childish,” says the poodle. The Labrador tries next. “Um. I hate liver and cheese?” “My, my,” says the poodle. “I guess it’s hopeless.” She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, “How about you, little guy?” The Yorkie, tiny in stature but big in finesse, gives her a smile and a sly wink, turns to the other dogs, and says, “Liver alone — cheese mine!” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A guy tells his friend, “I bought my wife a diamond ring.” “You told me she wanted a car,” the friend replies. “Yeah,” says the first guy, “but where would I find a fake car?” ---------------------------------------------------------------------------