Newsletter and jokes 12 February 2021

Hi all 
The infection rate is dropping and the academic year is kicking in... some sort  
of return to normality ... 
Two new releases this week. First up, for the kiddies, is the animated  
Cranston Academy: Monster Zone, which has not been released States-side 
yet, so reviews are scarce. 
For an older audience, we have the unorthodox Music, which did not appeal  
to the professional critics although some members of the public liked it. 
On the previews side, there are previews all over all day Saturday, and 
Sunday at some venues, for next week's Songbird, which takes a look at  
life under Covid-23 ...See the previems page and remember to book. 
New this week: 
* Cranston Academy: Monster Zone (PG VH) 
* Music (13 LVD)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Don't have updated top 10 yet... not all figures reported. 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Enjoy :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
My husband and I get along better since realizing how much our yelling  
upsets the dog. 
I had joined an aerobics class made up mostly of older women like me.  
At first, it was difficult to follow all the steps, but after a few weeks I  
felt that I had a good grasp of the routines.  
One day, a fellow classmate stopped me to say, “I’ve been noticing you.  
You’re very coordinated.” 
I couldn’t have been prouder. 
“Thank you,” I said.  
“Yes,” she continued, “your shirt matches your pants, and your pants  
match your socks.” 
When I was in my 20s, I had a streak of gray hair. One day, a complete 
stranger noticed and said, “I really like your gray hair. Where did you 
get it done?”  
“Oh, thanks,” I said. “It’s natural.”  
She recoiled. “Oh my, what are you going to do about it?” 
A student stopped me in the hallway to say that she’d just learned that 
her mom had had me as a teacher.  
Then, after looking me up and down, she asked,  
“Did you used to be good-looking?” 
As a wannabe musician, I took advantage of an opportunity to play with a  
local recorder group. During a break in our first rehearsal, the woman  
sitting next to me, an accomplished musician, said,  
“You have a beautiful vibrato!”  
I was basking in the glow of her praise when she added,  
“You’re not supposed to.” 
When I met my brother’s new father-in-law, he took my hand and said warmly,  
“You look just like your brother. He has a big nose too.” 
One morning shortly after we got married in our 60s, my husband and I were  
sitting on the bed putting on our socks and shoes.  
Out of the blue, he reached over and patted me on the knee, saying,  
“I am so glad we got married.” 
He was being romantic, and I appreciated it. “Me, too,” I said. 
He continued, “Do you have any idea how nice it is to open my dresser 
drawer and find my underwear and socks all folded nice and neat?” 
After I sang a solo in church, an elderly gentleman offered me his 
highest compliment. 
“I liked your song for two reasons,” he said. “You sang it well, and you 
didn’t sing too long.” 
Somehow, a friend and I got on the subject of age, which led him to ask how  
old I was. 
“Thirty-seven,” I said. 
He cocked his head and asked, “Is that all?” 
We adopted our daughter from China when she was nine, and we soon  
discovered that common American phrases and idioms didn’t come easily.  
Case in point, the time she tried to praise me for being outgoing 
and having lots of friends. With a great big smile she declared,  
“When I grow up, I want to be a big mouth just like you!” 
“Happy birthday! You don’t look 60, but I remember when you did!” 
From a reference letter written by my first boss:  
“Sarah is very lazy. When given a task she immediately figures out 
the easiest and quickest way to complete it. This tends to make 
her highly efficient.” 
I was taking my four-year-old grand-son out of his car seat when he gazed 
into my eyes and delivered this bit of wisdom:  
“Papa, you’re old. But at least you’re not dead yet.” 

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