Newsletter and jokes 19 March 2021


 
Hi all 
 
A busy week this week, it feels like some level of normality is returning. 
 
First up it the well-rated, by press and public alike, animated adventure 
from Disney, Maya end the Last Dragon, in 2D and 3D. It should do well :-) 
 
The rest of the lineup is aimed at older audiences. The biggest release is 
Boss Level, an action thriller with Frank Grillo and Mel Gibson.  
 
On more limited release, and aimed more at the critical than popcorn end of 
the market, we have The Mauritanian with Jodie Foster and Tahar Rahim,  
which has already picked up a Golden Globe for Jodie, and is in the running 
for more awards, notably the BAFTAS. 
 
Persian Lessons, on at the Nouveaus-and-similar, was meant to be Belarus' 
Foreign Language Oscar entrant, but was rejected for not being Belarusian  
enough. 
 
Lastly, Bollywood has two offerings this week, the romantic dramedy Sandeep  
Aur Pinky Faraar, and the crime action Mumbai Saga, both in Hindi. 
 
No previews this week. 
 
New this week: 
 
* Raya and the Last Dragon (3D) (PG V) 
* Raya and the Last Dragon (PG V) 
* Persian Lessons (13 LVP) 
* Boss Level (16 LVD) 
* The Mauritanian (16 LVP SV PPS) 
* Sandeep Aur Pinky Faraar (Hindi) 
* Mumbai Saga (Hindi) 
 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm   
 
Forthcoming attractions 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the pic and quote on the home page 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
This Week's pinup 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (Full HD wallpaper ...)  
 
List of all movies showing 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
Showtimes 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm  
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
 
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A woman came to our funeral home asking for help finding a family member’s  
burial site. It took me a few minutes to look up the information and even  
longer to walk to and locate the actual plot. 
 
The woman, now tired and winded, scolded, “You know, this would be a 
whole lot easier if you just put them in alphabetical order.” 
 
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Client: There are four dots above the word ‘sensitivities’ in this design. 
What are they doing there? 
 
Me: Those are the dots on the i’s. 
 
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My brother worked as a tax auditor for the government.  
 
He was dispatched to perform an audit at a nudist colony, but he didn’t  
uncover anything. 
 
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Tip-jar humour in our local coffee shop:  
 
‘Afraid of Change? Leave It Here.’ 
 
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I’m not a recruiter but a restaurant manager. 
 
We were opening a new location and doing interviews. A woman came in for a 
management position.  
 
During the interview, she reached into her handbag and pulled out a packet  
and started eating.  
 
The other manager told her to put it away and she told him it was OK, she 
could multi-task. 
 
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Honestly, my worst purchase of 2020 was a 2020 planner. 
 
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I can still rememeber the last words of my grandfather.  
He said, “you selfish boy.”  
 
Not long after that, I became a fish monger. 
 
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Which rock group features four men, but none of them sing? 
 
Mount Rushmore. 
 
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“Daddy, it’s time for you to face your fears and stop avoiding my maths  
lesson.” 
 
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While I was lying next to my four-year-old, he looked into my eyes, 
parted my hair to the side and said, “Mommy, I can’t rub the lines out 
of your face.” 
 
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After my five-year-old got a new haircut, he told his classmate:  
“A robber came in the middle of the night, took my hair and made it into a  
wig!” 
 
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I remember talking to my eight-year-old son about growing up.  
 
He said, “Dad, I want to be just like you.”  
 
Before I could complete my huge grin, he added, “But richer.” 
 
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One thing I’ve noticed about grumpy old men in TV shows and films:  
they will mentor you if you’re annoying enough. 
 
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Two cows are standing in a field. One says, “Hey, did you hear about that 
outbreak of mad cow disease? It makes cows go completely insane!” 
 
The other replies, “No. Good thing I’m a helicopter.” 
 
 
 
 



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