Newsletter and jokes 7 May 2021

Hi all 
Only two new movies this week. First up, for Mother's Day I suppose, is  
the female-friendly Brit comedy set in Nottinghill, Love Sarah. 
For the adult action market, we have Angeline Jolie playing a survival 
expert (yes, really) in the thriller Those Who Wish Me Dead. 
On the previews side, there are previews all over all day Saturday for next 
week's Peter Rabbit 2: The Runaway. See the previews page and remember to  
With Eid next week, two movies are opening next Tursday. First is the local  
comedy Barakat in "Afrikaaps", and that's joined by Bollywood big hitter  
Salman Khan doing his usual in Radhe - Your Most Wanted Bhai. 
Enkoy :-) 
New this week: 
* Love Sarah (13 L) 
* Those Who Wish Me Dead (16 LV)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (Cellphone wallpaper ...)  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Enjoy :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? 
A: Every morning you'll rise and shine!  
"Mommy! Do Angels fly?" 
"Yes, they do my love!" 
"Then, when will our nanny fly? Dad calls her 'My Angel' all the time!" 
"Tomorrow, my child, she'll fly as far as she goes..." 
One Sunday morning,a little girl and her mother go to church. 
Halfway through, the little girl tells her mother she's going to be sick. 
Her mother tells her to go in the bushes behind the church. 
The girl leaves and comes back after about five minutes. 
Her mother asks her if she threw up. 
"Yes," the girl says.  
"But I didn't have to go all the way "round the back. 
There was a box near the front door that said "For the Sick." 
"Madam, your son just called me an ugly swine!" 
The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him  
like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look." 
A little girl is sitting on her grandpa’s lap and studying the wrinkles on  
his old face. 
She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. 
Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled. 
Finally the little girl asks, "Grandpa, did God make you?" 
"He sure did honey, a long time ago," replies her grandpa. 
"Well, did God make me?" asks the little girl. 
"Yes, He did, and that wasn’t too long ago," answers her grandpa. 
"Boy," says the little girl, "He’s sure doing a lot better job these days, 
isn’t He?" 
Paddy and Murphy were doing a crossword. 
Paddy asks, "How do you spell paint"? 
Murphy replies, "What colour?" 
"Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?" 
"Because I helped her."  
"But that is a good thing! What did you help her with?" 
"I helped her eat her gummy bears." 
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week  
before Christmas.  
At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when  
the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. 
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said,  
"Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." 
To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!" 
A mother and her daughter were visiting the grave site of a loved one,  
when on their way back to the car they little girl stopped her mom.  
She said "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" 
"Of course not, sweetheart." her mother replied,  
"Why ever would you ask such a question?" 
"The headstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'" 
"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my  
A second grader came home from school and said to her mother,  
"Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."  
The mother, more that a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.  
"That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?"  
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'." 
A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans.  
Is it a boy or a girl?  
B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.  
A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.  
B: I'm not. I'm her mother. 

Xax International logo
 Xax International
 All rights reserved.