Newsletter and jokes 14 May 2021


 
Hi all 
 
In what is becoming the New Normal (for the time being, at least), we 
only have two new movies this week. 
 
First up, for the kiddie / family market, is the sequel to Peter Rabbit,  
which has had reasonable reviews considering the type of film.  
 
That's joined by the latest episode in the long-running Saw horror  
franchise, which originated with star comedian Chris Rock, of all people.  
This is adults only (18), with a long report from the censor board ... (warning: 
their comments reveal important plot points). The film is also showing on  
the big IMAX screens if you want the "full" experience :-) 
 
As mentioned last week, two films opened yesterday for Eid, local comedy  
Barakat in "Afrikaaps", and Salman Khan in Radhe - Your Most Wanted Bhai. 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
New this week: 
 
* Peter Rabbit 2: The Runaway (PG7-9) 
* Spiral: From the Book of Saw (18 LVH) 
* Spiral: From the Book of Saw (IMAX) (18 LVH) 
 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm   
 
Forthcoming attractions 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the pic and quote on the home page 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
This Week's pinup 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (Full HD wallpaper ...)  
 
List of all movies showing 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
Showtimes 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm  
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
 
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I always pop round to my elderly neighbour if I'm going into town, to 
see if he needs anything.  
 
Yesterday he asked if I could get him some “dear John mustard”... 
 
He obviously meant Dijon! 
 
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Drivers of classic Land-Rover Defenders like mine have taken to saluting  
each other as they pass. 
 
I did it to a fellow driver just the other day but was very disappointed 
to receive nothing more than a curious look in return. 
 
Then I suddenly realised that I was on foot! 
 
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I had backache and went to the store to buy some heating pads specifically  
for people with back pain.  
 
And do you know where they kept them?  
 
On the bottom shelf! 
 
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My grandson received some highway code lessons at school. 
 
Afterwards, he informed me that drivers have to look out for the 
“pescatarians” crossing signs— sounds fishy to me! 
 
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A visitor from abroad was struggling to place an order with our local 
baker, who couldn't understand what the visitor meant by a “woodland cake.” 
 
Fortunately, having worked in Germany, I was able to figure it out for them.  
 
The item required was a black forest gateau. 
 
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I can’t wait for Valentine’s Day.  
 
I’m going to run into as many restaurants as I can, shouting,  
“I knew I’d find you here, you cheater,” then run out. 
 
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What’s the difference between a lawn mower and a bag pipe? 
 
You can tune a lawn mower. 
 
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Instead of the John, I call the toilet the Jim.  
 
That way it sounds much better when I say that  
“I go to the Jim every morning.” 
 
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Every story ever written is in the dictionary.  
 
You just have to put the words in the correct order. 
 
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Why did the banana go out with the prune? 
 
Because it couldn’t get a date! 
 
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My date took me to a nice restaurant.  
 
Our server leaned in to me and said, “You’re the third one this week.” 
 
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After paying the bill, my friend turned to his date and told her,  
“You ate more than I predicted.” 
 
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