Newsletter and jokes 4 June 2021


 
Hi all 
 
Only one new film this week, the latest episode in The Conjuring series,  
which is based on a ground-breaking court case in the USA.  
 
It's also showing at the IMAX venues.  
 
On the previews side, there are previews all over all day Saturday for next 
week's action thriller The Misfits, which seems to be trying to start a new  
franchise. See the Previews page and remember to book. 
 
New this week: 
 
* The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (16 VH) 
* The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (IMAX)  (16 VH) 
 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm   
 
Forthcoming attractions 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the pic and quote on the home page 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
This Week's pinup 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (Full HD wallpaper ...)  
 
List of all movies showing 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
Showtimes 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm  
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
 
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I used to check my phone twice while watching a movie.  
 
Now I check the movie twice while on my phone. 
 
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Masks are the new kids socks: they multiply all over your house and you 
can never find one when you urgently need it. 
 
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Any time I see a couple jogging together, I try to figure out which one 
of them is unhappy about it. 
 
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I wonder what the trial-and-error process was like for the first 
people who ever ate mushrooms:  
 
“This one tastes like beef, this one killed Brian immediately, and this one 
makes you see God for a week.” 
 
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My dad constantly tells me I’ll never amount to anything because I always  
procrastinate.  
 
I’ll show him. Just you wait. 
 
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Over lunch at a fast-food restaurant, I was telling my friend about a  
teenager who had rear-ended my car.  
 
The teen blamed me for the accident. 
 
“She called me every dirty name in the book,” I said. 
 
Just then, I looked over to the next table, where two nine-year-old boys  
had been paying close attention to my story. 
 
One said to the other, “There’s a book?” 
 
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My four-year-old brother was sitting on my mother’s lap as they looked at  
pregnancy photos from his baby album.  
 
Turning the page, she tenderly explained, “This is when I went to the  
hospital, and then...”  
 
My brother, quick to showcase his medical knowledge, interrupted:  
“And then the doctor pulled me out of your mouth!” 
 
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Me: No TV until you eat your lunch. 
 
My four-year-old: That’s not the attitude I want to hear. 
 
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One day, my seven-year-old was staring at my face. 
 
Me: What is it, sweetie?  
 
My seven-year-old: Is my nose weird, too? 
 
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While working from home, I had 15 minutes between calls and went to play  
with my kid.  
 
She  handed me a stuffed animal to watch, said she had a meeting and left. 
 
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There is no stronger acting performance than a kid who pretended to fall  
asleep in the car so they could be carried into the house by their parents. 
 
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When I got my first dog, I was seven and he was one - or seven in dog 
years.  
 
I remember crying when he turned two because I didn’t think a 14-year-old  
dog would want to hang out with me. 
 
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Q: Why should you never date an apostrophe? 
 
A: They’re too possessive. 
 
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Q: Which word becomes shorter after you add two letters to it? 
 
A: Short. 
 
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People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence  
possible. 
 
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I’ve been reading the thesaurus lately, because a mind is a terrible thing  
to garbage. 
 
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