Newsletter and jokes 11 June 2021

Hi all 
we have four new movies this week, one of which was bumped up from next  
First up for the little ones is the girls-and-horses adventure, Spirit  
Untamed, which found more favour with the patrons than the critics.  
Then for the family market (and everyone else), we have the dancing musical  
In The Heights, which has had rave reviews from press and public alike. It 
is actually a hit stage show translated to the screen. 
For the popcorn / escapist adult market, we have two action thrillers,  
neither of which impressed the critics. These are The Misfits, and the  
sequel Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard, which is also on at the IMAXes. 
Enjoy! :-) 
New this week: 
* Spirit Untamed (PG V) 
* In The Heights (PG7-9 L) 
* The Misfits (16 LVD CT) 
* Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard (16 LSVD) 
* Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard (IMAX) (16 LSVD)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (Full HD phone wallpaper ...)  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Enjoy :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
I kept harping on at my husband to go on a diet. We were taking a walk 
one day and he leapfrogged over a bench. Looking mighty pleased with  
himself he exclaimed, “How many overweight men do you know who can do that?” 
“One,” I said. 
He didn’t like my response. 
My husband showed our five-year-old son a picture of himself when he was 16  
and asked Harri if he knew who it was. 
He stared at it for a long time before replying,  
“It’s me when I’m bigger!” 
Confronting my husband, I demanded, “How come you never tell me I look  
pretty? Even my sisters tell me I look pretty sometimes.” 
“Your sisters are absolutely right,” he said grandly. “You do look 
pretty sometimes.” 
I had to smile when I joined my golf partner for a round of golf. 
“Is that a new putter?” I asked him.  “What happened to your last one?” 
With a deadpan expression, he said, “It couldn’t swim.”  
I received a birthday card from my son this year. He’d written inside: 
“I’m sorry about all those stupid things I did when I was a kid.” 
And then, “Just be grateful you only know about half of them!” 
Deodorant? No, I’ve never needed to buy any. People just give it to me, 
complete strangers sometimes.  
I’m sick of men’s 3-in-1 bodywash-shampoo-conditioner.  
Add toothpaste as well! 
My twins hate to brush their teeth. 
So I just convinced them that it’s fun to brush someone else’s teeth. 
Problem solved. 
The fact that Head & Shoulders doesn’t have a bodywash called Knees & Toes  
disappoints me. 
Dry shampoo is the equivalent of unicorn blood for hair – it’ll keep it  
alive, but it’ll be a half life, a cursed life. 
I ate a clock yesterday. 
It was very time consuming. 
Especially when I went back for seconds! 
A man decided that he wanted to make his own honey, so he purchased 100  
bees from his local beekeeper.  
When he got home, he counted his new bees and discovered that he actually 
had 101. 
Being an honest man, he called the beekeeper back to tell him that he had  
taken home one too many.  
“That’s OK,” the beekeeper told him. “That one’s a freebee.” 
A border collie was bragging about all the work he did around the farm.  
A nearby sheep piped up, “You don’t work hard, all you do is boss us around!” 
“What did you say?” the collie demanded. 
“You herd me.” 

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