Newsletter and jokes 18 June 2021


 
Hi all 
 
Apologies for the issues with the site earlier today, it was because some  
remote libraries were unavailable. 
 
Only one new film this week, Luca, which is the latest from Disney/Pixar,  
and as usual with their offerings, it has pleased the critics and the  
public. You can catch it in 2D or 3D. 
 
Next week sees Fast 9 hitting our screens, but you don't need to wait that 
long because their are previews all over all day Saturday for your viewing 
pleasure. See the previews page and remember to book :-) 
 
Enjoy! :-) 
 
New this week: 
 
* Luca (PG V) 
* Luca (3D) (PG V) 
 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm   
 
Forthcoming attractions 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the pic and quote on the home page 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
This Week's pinup 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (Full HD wallpaper ...)  
 
List of all movies showing 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
Showtimes 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm  
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
 
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Never trust atoms, they make up everything. 
 
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A male colleague told us at work that it was his wife’s birthday. 
 
“What are you getting for her?” enquired another colleague. 
 
“Make me an offer!” he responded. 
 
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Short movie reviews: 
 
Star Wars – Daddy issues in space. 
 
The Hunger Games – Girl ruins her sister’s chance to be on television. 
 
Indiana Jones – The Nazis threaten world domination, so the US sends 
ONE MAN WITH A WHIP. 
 
The Wizard of Oz – Women try to kill each other over a pair of shoes. 
 
Lord of the Rings – A group spends nine hours returning jewellery. 
 
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Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions?  
 
I do. 
 
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Sometimes I stay up so late that I hear go-getters leaving for their 
morning runs.  
 
It feels like the closest thing to getting lapped in real life. 
 
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I’m currently trying to sell a thermos with absolutely no capacity for any 
liquid.  
 
It’s a tankless flask. 
 
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Q: What do you call a line of rabbits jumping backwards? 
A: A receding hare-line. 
 
Q: What do you call a mischievous Easter egg? 
A: A practical yolker. 
 
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“I WANT MUMMY TO CUT MY HAIR,” my six year old yelled, at once exercising  
his bodily autonomy and exhibiting absolutely dismal decision-making skills. 
 
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Why did the Irishman give up internet shopping?  
 
The trolley kept falling off the computer. 
 
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I never knew happiness till I got married. 
 
By then it was too late. 
 
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Chuck Norris really can get chicken from a tuna can. 
 
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A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them  
belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. 
 
The physician said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam  
and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is  
the oldest profession." 
 
The engineer replied, "But, before that, God created the heavens and earth  
from chaos and confusion, and thus he was the first engineer.  
Therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine." 
 
Then, the lawyer spoke up. "Yes," he said, "But who do you think created  
all of the chaos and confusion?" 
 
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Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a  
well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. 
 
"Give me your money," he demanded. 
 
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can’t do this – I’m a Member of 
Parliament!" 
 
"In that case," replied the robber, "Give me MY money!" 
 
 
 
 



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