Newsletter and jokes 25 June 2021


 
Hi all 
 
Only one new film this week, but it's a biggie and showing on the big IMAX 
and 4DX screens too. With the threat of further lock-downs looming,  
especially in Gauteng, catch it sooner rather than later... 
 
Enjoy! :-) 
 
New this week: 
 
* Fast and Furious 9: The Fast Saga (13 LV) 
* Fast and Furious 9: The Fast Saga (IMAX) (13 LV) 
* Fast and Furious 9: The Fast Saga (4DX) (13 LV) 
 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm   
 
Forthcoming attractions 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the pic and quote on the home page 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
This Week's pinup 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (cellphone wallpaper ...)  
 
List of all movies showing 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
Showtimes 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm  
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
 
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My ten-year-old son asked me why his grandmother was given her COVID  
vaccination before we were. 
 
I told him it was because she was on a list of vulnerable people.  
 
I later heard him earnestly explaining to his sister, "Granny goes first  
because she's on the endangered species list." 
 
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I teach art to year eight students and, at the end of term, all the pupils 
were making cards. 
 
One child, whose father also works in the school, was making two cards. 
 
He had made a lovely one for me saying, "To a great art teacher" but 
I couldn't help but smile at his other card which was obviously for his dad. 
 
It said, "To whatever teacher you are.” 
 
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A couple of years ago my husband and I decided to try out our local  
Spiritualist church. On the way back home we missed our train and had 45  
minutes to wait for the next one so we decided to have some fish and chips. 
 
The man serving us asked if we had a good evening. I said we had just been  
for a session at the Spiritualist church.  
 
He asked us if it was good or bad.  
 
My husband who couldn't believe the opportunity he had been given, quickly  
replied, "No, just medium!" 
 
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While working abroad, I made friends with a German girl who went on to  
marry a Lutheran pastor.  
 
When they were due to visit some years later, I decided that grace should  
be said before we have dinner as a mark of respect for the husband's  
vocation and asked one of our young sons to prepare a few suitable words. 
 
Not one to do things by halves, I also chose a menu that I thought the  
visitors would enjoy, although it included none of our family's usual  
dishes.  
 
Maybe that is the reason why our boy, having inspected what was laid out  
in the kitchen, came up with the following:  
 
“For what we are about to receive, may the good Lord deliver us!” 
 
Luckily our guests, who both spoke excellent English, saw the funny side. 
 
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I’m starting a petition to rename the country AAA South Africa, to make  
using drop-down menus easier. 
 
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I’m going to convince Gen Z that MySpace was pronounced like Versace. 
 
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I’ve got a beautiful tattoo of a chameleon.  
Somewhere... 
 
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I tried to reset my password to “beef_stew” but my computer said it wasn’t 
stroganoff. 
 
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Actors who could cure my lisp?  
 
I’m pretty sure Anne Hathaway but I’m going to ask Colin Firth. 
 
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People say being a waiter is a bad job, but hey, it 
PUTS FOOD ON THE TABLE! 
 
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Why hasn’t KFC renamed its menu, “the bucket list?” 
 
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Can everybody here for the yodelling contest please form an  
orderly orderly orderly orderly queue? 
 
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I work as a Customs Officer, and yesterday was my yearly review.  
 
It didn’t go very well, apparently they think I’m borderline incompetent. 
 
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I tried to keep it a secret that we had a cat in the bakery, but there was  
a paw in my flan. 
 
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I told my mum that she was invading my personal space and she replied,  
“You came out of my personal space”.  
 
I just looked at her and said OK. 
 
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A man dies and finds himself sent straight to hell. Satan meets him, shows  
him the doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one room to spend 
eternity in. 
 
In the first room, people are standing in dirt up to their necks. The man  
says, “Not this one, let me see the next room.”  
 
In the second room, people are standing in dirt up to their noses. He says  
no again. 
 
Finally Satan opens up the door to the third room. People are standing with  
dirt up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating pastries. The man says,  
“I pick this room.” 
 
Satan says OK and starts to leave, and the man wades into the dirt and  
starts to pour himself some coffee. 
 
As he reaches the door, Satan turns back and yells,  
“OK, coffee break’s over. Everyone back on your heads!” 
 
 
 
 



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