Newsletter and jokes 6 August 2021


 
Hi all 
 
A long weekend (which I only discovered today), and three films for your 
viewing pleasure.  
 
First up is The Rock in another family-friendly adventure yarn, based on  
the Disney attraction of the same nam, Jungle Cruise. 
 
For the adults, we have two offerings, kicking off with the latest M. Night 
Shyamalan twister, Old. And lastly, Hayley Quinn is back for another 
outing in The Suicide Squad, which has had good reviews. 
 
Then from tomorrow, at Nu Metro, there are screenings of the documentary 
about K-Pop female supergroup Blackpink. 
 
Enjoy! :-) 
 
New this week: 
 
* Jungle Cruise (3D) (PG10-12 V) 
* Jungle Cruise (PG10-12 V) 
* Old (16 VPH) 
* The Suicide Squad (16 LV) 
* The Suicide Squad (IMAX) (16 LV) 
 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm   
 
Forthcoming attractions 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the pic and quote on the home page 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
This Week's pinup 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full HD wallpaper ...)  
 
List of all movies showing 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
Showtimes 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm  
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
 
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The year is 2246.  
Disease and hunger have been eradicated.  
The terraforming of Mars is complete.  
 
And Microsoft’s symbol for “save” is still a floppy disk. 
 
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I want to tell you a joke about land, but I'm afraid you won't get it. 
 
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Someone in my Norwegian class didn’t know the word for “cowboys,” so they 
called them “American horse pirates.” 
 
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I wonder who decided to call it “emotional baggage” and not “griefcase.” 
 
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After being told that it’s rude to call dinner gross, our four-year-old is  
finding increasingly creative ways to express himself: 
 
“This tastes ... unlucky to me.” 
 
“This sends my mouth into outer space.” 
 
“Cauliflower is,” as he pinches his fingers together, “this much delicious.” 
 
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My daughter asked why she can’t just quit school, and I told her that it’s  
against the law and I could go to jail. 
 
She then looked me in the eyes and said: “I’ll visit you.” 
 
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While at a department store, I noticed a girl stare longingly at the  
stuffed animals and say, “I wish I was still a kid.” 
 
Her dad, standing next to her, replied: “You’re 10.” 
 
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My five-year-old nephew came home after a fight with his friend swearing 
never to talk to him again.  
 
“Forgive and forget.” I told him, “that’s what I do when my friends hurt  
me.”  
 
We met the boy a few days later, and the two ignored each other.  
 
“What’s the problem?” I asked.  
 
“Well,” he replied, “I forgave him. Now I’m trying to forget him.” 
 
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I Have an IKEA Joke, but It Needs Too Much Setup 
 
I have a prune joke, but it’s dated. 
 
I have a Stars Wars joke, but it’s forced. 
 
I have a nihilist joke, but who cares? 
 
I have a joke about a broken clock, but it’s not the right time. 
 
I have a joke about cows, but I don’t want to milk it. 
 
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Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini.  
The bartender asks, “Olive or twist?” 
 
An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, 
drinks, beer, alcohol. 
 
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I just found out that I’m colour-blind. 
 
This came right out of the purple. 
 
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