Newsletter and jokes 17 September 2021


 
Hi all 
 
Only one new release this week, the gritty crime thriller Copland. 
 
To balance that, there are previews at most venues all day Saturday for next 
week's Afrikaans rom-com, Kaalgat Karel. See the previews page and book :-) 
 
With national Braai day kicking off a long weekend next week, the new  
movies open next Thursday. 
 
New this week: 
 
* Copshop (16 LV) 
 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm   
 
Forthcoming attractions 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the pic and quote on the home page 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
This Week's pinup 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full HD wallpaper ...)  
 
List of all movies showing 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
Showtimes 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm  
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
 
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I actually don’t mind losing an hour to daylight saving time because 
I chose the one when I have to go to the gym. 
 
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My elderly aunt was rushed to the hospital by an ambulance with what 
eventually transpired to be a burst appendix. Major surgery and several 
litres of blood later, she luckily made a good recovery. 
 
When, post operatively, a nurse arrived to take some blood to test, 
my aunt helpfully advised her, 
 
“Oh, didn’t anyone tell you? I don’t think you’ll need to do that 
for me because the blood I have now isn’t mine.” 
 
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Before we went out for dinner, my 80-year-old mother-in-law stopped 
off at the beautician.  
 
“All the women did was complain about their husbands,” she said over our  
meal.  
 
“Did you complain about your husband?” I asked, adding a sly nod towards my  
father-in-law.  
 
“I didn’t have to,” she said. “They all know him.” 
 
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There is always one family  member who feels differently  about spicy meals.  
 
You just have  to accept their bay-leafs. 
 
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I thought seriously about getting a weighted blanket, but now that I have  
seen how much they cost, I guess I will just do it the old-fashioned way:  
by putting some cats on top of myself when I go to sleep. 
 
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I went into a clothing shop and a lady came up to me and said, “If you need 
anything, I’m Jill.” 
 
I was like, “I’ve never met anyone with a conditional identity before. 
 
What if I don’t need anything? Who are you?”  
 
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Why did the scarecrow get an award?  
Because he was out standing in his field! 
 
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for work?  
Bison. 
 
What do you call a blind dinosaur?  
A Doyouthinkhesaurus! 
 
Why did the man fall down the well? 
Because he didn’t see that well! 
 
I stood behind a customer at an ATM and he turned around and said,  
“Could you check my balance?” 
So I pushed him. His balance wasn’t that great. 
 
Someone has glued my pack of cards together –  
I don’t know how to deal with it. 
 
What do you call a zombie who cooks stir fries?  
Dead man wok-king. 
 
Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked. 
 
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I once hired a limo but when it arrived, the guy driving it walked off! 
 
I said “Excuse me? Are you not going to drive me?” 
 
The guy told me that the price didn’t include a driver... 
 
... so I’d spent $1000 on a limo and have nothing to chauffeur it! 
 
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In case you’re wondering how being manager is going ... no one showed 
up today because I forgot to make this week’s schedule. 
 
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Sometimes I like to treat myself at work... and just do one thing at a time. 
 
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I walked by a record store.  
 
The sign in the front said they specialised in hard-to-find records.  
 
Nothing was alphabetised.  
 
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