Newsletter and jokes 15 October 2021

Hi all 
As we head towards the end of the year, we have two adults-only films on 
wide release. First up is another episode from the Venom franchise, which  
had an excellent opening overseas last week. That's also showing on the  
IMAX screens. 
The Last Duel takes a look at the official last duel in France back at the  
end of the middle ages. Note that it contains scenes of sexual violence. 
Also showing this week, in what I guess is an Oscar-qualifying run, is local 
film Sons of the Sea. If you're in the Tygervalley area, check it out. 
No previews this week, next week sees Dune arrive at last. 
New this week: 
* Venom: Let There Be Carnage (3D) 16 LV 
* Venom: Let There Be Carnage 16 LV 
* Venom: Let There Be Carnage (3D IMAX) 16 LV 
* The Last Duel (16 LSNV SV) 
* Sons of the Sea (16 LSV)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper ...)  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Enjoy :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
My brother was stopped for going 20 kilometres over the speed limit and  
moaned to the police officer: “Do you have to give me a ticket? 
Don’t you give out warnings?” 
The cop looked him straight in the face and replied sternly, 
“We do! They’re posted along the freeway.” 
My grandmother is a woman of few words. She looked my grandfather 
up and down one morning and asked him, “Did you shave today?” 
“Of course I did!” he replied. 
“Well, next time stand a little closer to the razor,” she retorted. 
[That's actually an old army joke...] 
When our tour group entered a cafeteria for breakfast, the woman walking in  
with me made a beeline for the carrot cake. But just as she reached for a  
slice, she thought better of it and withdrew her hand. 
As she turned away, I heard her murmur, “No, it’s too early for vegetables.” 
I told my six year old that I’m 38 and she started crying.  
When I asked why, she said, “I’m just sad because old people die.” 
I’m both touched that she loves me so much and depressed that she thinks my  
life expectancy is that of a farmer in the 17th century. 
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Do one thing every day that scares you”.  
Today, I’m going jeans shopping. 
Since everyone laughs at the parents who wear pyjamas when they drop their  
kids off at school, I started sleeping in my gym clothes. 
Every neck tattoo should read “I’m not getting the job, am I?” 
Doctor says to his patient: “Your liver results are back. And frankly,  
they’re surprisingly poor considering that I only allowed you one glass of 
wine per week.” 
The patient shrugs:  
“Do you really think you are the only doctor I am going to?” 
I used to love correcting people’s grammar, until I realised that I loved 
having friends more. 
I saved a lot of money on a home security system by hanging a picture 
of my pay cheque on the front door. 
I can’t believe Zoom gives away their best feature, limiting meetings 
to 40 minutes, for free. 

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