Hi all It's Valentine's Day on Monday so we have a rare rom-com to put you in the mood, with JLo putting Owen Wilson through his paces. The other very-wide release this week is the film version of the Agatha Christi whodunnit, Death on the Nile. This is another example of the censor board taking a stricter line with film ratings. On the action side, we have Last Looks, which is a crime thriller. Bollywood also gets into the the romance game with Badhaai Do. On the previews side, there are previews for the upcoming local rom-com, Singleholic, at selected venues next Thursday night. See the Previews page and remember to book. And dress to impress. New this week: * Marry Me (PG7-9 L) * Death on the Nile (16 V) * Last Looks (16 LVD) * Badhaai Do (Hindi) https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm Forthcoming attractions https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm Updated the pic and quote on the home page https://www.moviesite.co.za/ This Week's pinup https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full HD wallpaper ...) List of all movies showing https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm Same list sorted by Age Restriction https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm Showtimes https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) Enjoy :-) Cheers, Ian --------------------------------------------------------------------------- As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an army base, the drill sergeant said, “All right! All you idiots fall out.” As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention. The drill instructor walked over until he was eye to eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, “Sure was a lot of them, huh, sir?” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sergeant-Major: “I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning!” Soldier: “Thank you very much, sir.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I’m a letter carrier, and I occasionally run into people from my mail route at local establishments. One Sunday, my wife and I were shopping and, of course, I was not wearing my postal uniform. A young woman who lived on my route approached us in the dairy aisle. She asked me, “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” I smiled and said, “Yes, I’m your mailman.” With a broad grin, she replied, “Oh, I didn’t recognize you with clothes on.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- One day I noticed my two-year-old nephew rubbing his tummy. I asked him what was wrong. “I’m hungry,” he said. I was relieved. “Okay, so what do you want to eat?” He then dramatically exclaimed, “No, I need toys!” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, “I can make the boss give me the day off.” The man replies, “And how would you do that?” The woman says, “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, “What are you doing?” The woman replies, “I’m a light bulb.” The boss then says, “You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.” The man starts to follow her and the boss says, “Where are you going?” The man says, “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I’m the kind of wife who will help my husband look for his chocolate that I ate. My wife and I are sitting on the couch watching TV and I hear a text. Realizing I left my phone in the kitchen, I get up, go to the kitchen to check it ... and it’s a text from my wife: Please bring the chips on your way back. I asked my wife to share her queen-sized blanket to which she replied she was a queen and therefore the blanket was at max capacity. DATING: Can’t wait to see you again. MARRIAGE: Part of your knee was on my side of the bed again last night. It’s baffling to me that office jobs existed before email, PowerPoint or Excel. Like what did you do all day? A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get take-out, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be Cleaning. The. Kitchen. Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when someone wasn’t getting to the point.