Newsletter and jokes 8 April 2022


 
Hi all 
 
It's a short week next week as we start a cycle of 4-day weeks. On the  
bright side, the end of restrictions is in site, and we can look forward  
to normality. 
 
At the movies, first up is the new animated kiddies movie, The Bad Guys, 
showing in 2D and 3D. This is from DreamWorks, and initial reviews have  
been good. 
 
On the art circuit, a rather off-beat heart-warming road trip movie aimed  
at the older generation, The Last Bus, which found more favour with the  
public than the press. 
 
Then we have a new local film, Thando, which turns a much-needed spotlight  
on the whole "blesser" culture and the implications for the girls and women 
involved. 
 
Opera buffs can catch Ariadne auf Naxos at the Nouveaus and similar venues, 
and likewise for art aficianados with Easter in Art. 
 
There are premieres next Wednesday at selected venues for The Lost City. 
 
The new movies open next Thursday. 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
New this week: 
 
* The Bad Guys (3D) (PG V) 
* The Bad Guys (PG V) 
* The Last Bus (PG10-12) 
* Thando (16 LSVP SV) 
 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm   
 
Forthcoming attractions 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the pic and quote on the home page 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
This Week's pinup 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full HD wallpaper ...)  
 
List of all movies showing 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
Showtimes 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm  
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
I dig,  
you dig,  
we dig,  
he digs,  
she digs,  
they dig. 
 
It's not a beautiful poem, but it's very deep... 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test.  
 
The doctor says to the first man, "What is three times three?"  
 
"274," was his reply.  
 
The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times  
three?"  
 
"Tuesday," replies the second man.  
 
The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times  
three?" 
 
"Nine," says the third man.  
 
"That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?"  
 
"Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday." 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
I used to think maths was useless, but then one day I realised that  
decimals had a point. 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
Teacher: "Little Johnny, give me a sentence using the word, 'geometry.'" 
 
Little Johnny: "A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day  
and said, 'Gee, I'm a tree.'" 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
Parallel lines have so much in common. 
It's a shame they'll never meet. 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
I stopped understanding maths when the alphabet decided to get involved. 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
Student: What’s infinity?  
 
Math Teacher: Think of a number.  
 
Student: Okay, I’ve got one.  
 
Teacher: Good. That’s not it. 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
Q: How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb? 
 
A: Hmmm... I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you. 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
"What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute maths student?" 
 
"She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me." 
 
"I don't believe that she cheated on you!" 
 
"Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me  
that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..." 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
Men = eat + sleep + earn money 
 
Donkeys = eat + sleep 
 
Therefore, Men = Donkeys + earn money 
 
Therefore, Men - earn money = Donkeys 
 
In other words, Men that don't earn money = Donkeys 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account. 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
I wonder what Facebook employees do to waste their time at work? 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
Someone figured out my password.  
 
Now I have to rename my dog. 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym.  
 
Now this whole workout was a waste of time. 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter? 
 
When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed,  
then go around to all your friends' houses to show them the picture of your  
dinner? 
 
No? 
 
Me neither.  
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 



Xax International logo
 Xax International
 2019
 All rights reserved.