Newsletter and jokes 14 April 2022

Hi all 
Short on time today (thanks, Eskom) so just a quick update. 
Take care on the roads... already saw one near miss between two taxis... 
Three new movies, all sequels, aimed at the crowds.  
* Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore, in 2D, IMAX and 4DX 
* Mr Bones 3: Son of Bones 
* K.G.F: Chapter 2 (From India, not sure which language(s) )   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Enjoy :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
10-year-old: Mom, what’s a metaphor? 
Me: My life is a train wreck. 
10-year-old: I know, Mom, but what is a metaphor? 
Chairman of the board to other members: “Of course, it’s only a suggestion,  
gentlemen, but let’s not forget who’s making it.” 
“How much does the Earth  weigh?” asked a seven-year-old boy in class.  
The teacher, not knowing the answer, resorted to the best of education  
techniques: “That’s a very interesting question. Let’s see who can find the  
answer by tomorrow.” 
That night she made a beeline for the local library and after   
considerable effort, she arrived at the answer.  
The next day she asked the class if anyone had been able to find out how  
much the earth weighs. 
No one had. The teacher filled with pride announced the results of her 
research. The class pondered the answer briefly. Then the same small 
boy raised his hand and asked,  “Is that with or without people?” 
AT the dinner table one evening our teenage daughter was telling us 
about a film she had seen at school. 
“It was on mental and emotional health,” she said.  
“And can you tell us,” I asked teasingly, “the exact difference between  
‘mental’ and ‘emotional’ health?”  
“Well,” she replied, “the way I see it, mental health is how you feel 
about geometry; emotional health is how you feel about the boy who sits 
next to you in geometry.” 
We had taken our daughter to the local club where a couple of chefs were  
demonstrating their skill.  
As the Chinese chef cooked noodles using chopsticks, my wide-eyed daughter  
exclaimed, “Look, Mummy, he’s knitting his dinner!” 
Some of the children I examine as an optometrist need glasses but will 
do almost anything to avoid wearing them. Other youngsters, who do not 
need glasses, plead with me to prescribe them.  
One nine-year-old patient wanted to wear glasses very much. When I 
asked her to read the bottom row of letters on the chart, she said,  
“All right, I can see the O and the P and the T, but not the N and the Z.” 
I had been teaching my seventh graders about World War II, and a test  
question was, “What was the largest amphibious assault of all time?”  
Expecting to see ‘the D-Day invasion’ as the answer, I found instead on one  
paper, ‘Moses and the plague of frogs’. 

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