Hi all June already. The years seem to fly by faster the older I get :-) A quiet week at the cinemas this week, in deference to exam season, I suppose. We have two new movies, the first a romantic war epic love story in Hindi, and then an army biopic in Hindi and Telugu. Also on circuit at selected venues and two screenings only (today and tomorrow), is the filmed version of the State Theatre production of the Shaka Zulu stage play. New this week * Prithviraj (Hindi) (probably 13 or 16) * Major (Hindi) (probably 16 V) * Major (Telugu) (probably 16 V) https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm Forthcoming attractions https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm Updated the home page poster https://www.moviesite.co.za/ List of all movies showing https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm Same list sorted by Age Restriction https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm Showtimes https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) Enjoy :-) Cheers, Ian --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Once when I was a waitress, a guy asked me for extra mashed potatoes. I replied, “They’re mashed as much as they can mash them.” Someone told me: “You shouldn’t drink carbonated water, it’s full of carbs.” I was eight months pregnant and saw someone I knew at a restaurant. They said, “OMG, what are you having?” And I said, “Chicken.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- An angry woman sitting next to me in a diner called over our waitress and said, “I don’t know what kind of ruse you’re trying to perpetrate. I’ve had soup du jour before, and (points to bowl), this isn’t it.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I began to have doubts about how maths is taught in this country when a young cook at my pizzeria said he had a problem. “A customer called, asking for a pie that’s a third cheese, a third pepper- oni, and a third combination,” he said. “So, what’s the problem?” I asked him. “I don’t know what to put on the fourth third.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- The flight from Moscow to Irkutsk, Siberia, is a long one, so I was lucky to nab a window seat in an exit row. But as the Aeroflot jet gained altitude, I began to feel an icy draft on my legs and noticed that the exit door was not properly closed. Alarmed, I pointed out the problem to a flight attendant. She promptly took care of the situation: She brought me a blanket. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- How worried should a cat owner be if the neighbor’s dog is named Curiosity? --------------------------------------------------------------------------- My daughter loves being buried up to her neck in sand at the beach. Her little face lights up when I come back to get her the next day. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- My eight-year-old son had started to complain he had a sore, itchy foot. So I took him to a pharmacy and they soon diagnosed athlete’s foot and sent us away with some cream to apply each evening. A few nights later, as I tucked him into bed, he suddenly called out, “You forgot to put on the cream for my Olympic foot!” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- “I ran a half marathon” sounds so much better than “I quit halfway through a marathon”. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- If I throw my son a tennis ball, he drops it. A rugby ball, he fumbles. But if I toss him a mobile phone, my man has a sick one-handed, no look. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.