Newsletter and jokes 16 June 2022


 
Hi all 
 
A curious week for new releases.  
 
The new animated film from Disney, Lightyear, which takes a look at Buzz  
Lightyear's back story, has been banned in several countries overseas. The  
film  portrays two female characters in a romantic relationship, who share  
an on-screen kiss. 
 
The other mainstream release is the action thriller Last Seen Alive,  
starring Gerard Butler, which has been slated by the critics, although  
the public have been somewhat more forgiving. 
 
Tomorrow sees the arrival on the Bollywood action comedy / super-hero spoof 
Nikamma.  
 
On the arty side, you can catch the filmed stage plays, The Book of Dust,  
and Shaka Zulu, at selected venues. 
 
Next Wednesday sees the major launch for Baz Lurman's biopic Elvis, at  
Sandton City. Be sure to book early. 
 
 
New this week 
 
* Lightyear (3D) PG V PPS 
* Lightyear PG V PPS 
* Lightyear (3D IMAX) PG V PPS 
* Last Seen Alive 16 LV 
 
* Nikamma (Hindi) (probably 13) 
 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm   
 
Forthcoming attractions 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the home page poster 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
This Week's pinup 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full HD wallpaper)  
 
List of all movies showing 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
Showtimes 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm  
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
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My birthday was coming up so I went to the card store and asked my daughter 
(aged four) if she wanted to pick a card for me. I tried not to look but I  
couldn't help but notice she was looking at one after the other and making  
a mess of the display.  
 
When I asked her what she was doing, she replied, "I'm looking for one with 
money in it for you, Mummy.” 
 
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While out walking with my eight-year-old granddaughter, I was asked to name  
a certain tree.  
 
“That’s an oak tree,” I said, "You can tell by its leaves.” 
 
“No, Grandpa,” she said, "That’s a dog tree—you can tell by its bark”. 
 
I walked on an older but wiser man. 
 
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I've never been interested in food and drink and definitely don't know  
as much as the average person about it.  
 
Everyone thought it was hilarious when I got my first job in a café. 
 
Within the first week my boss asked me why I was taking so long to make 
a customer a white coffee and I explained it was because I couldn't find  
the white beans...  
 
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I was helping my grandparents to clear their attic as they were moving 
to a new house.  
 
While rummaging, I found an old rifle. My grandparents had forgotten about  
it and didn’t know what to do with it. 
 
I rang my dad to ask for advice. He told me to take it to the police station. 
 
A few minutes later he rang back and in urgent tones commented, "But ring 
ahead first!”. 
 
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Putting an S on the end of an athletic event can sometimes create a new 
word. Discuss. 
 
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Me: What do you know about atoms? 
 
Friend: Very little. 
 
Me: Besides that? 
 
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Fact: emperor penguins have no real power, the title is purely ceremonial. 
 
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It’s actually very bad luck to say MacBook inside an office.  
 
You have to call it “The Scottish Laptop”. 
 
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I get very nostalgic on the internet.  
 
After I fill in a form online I often think to myself, I remember when all 
this was just empty fields. 
 
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My therapist says that I have a tendency to blame my problems on others.  
 
Which I’m pretty sure I get from my dad. 
 
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My uncle had a terrible accident and fell into a smoothie maker. 
 
It wasn’t long after, that he turned to drink. 
 
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Petrol pumps are so much faster than they used to be.  
 
It used to take me two minutes to reach 50 bucks but now I can do it in  
30 seconds. 
 
Well done garages! 
 
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Why not confuse future archaeologists by burying your favourite pets in  
elaborate military uniforms? 
 
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Who decided to call the streaming service Disney+ and not Vault Disney? 
 
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I woke up this morning and my pillow case was covered in sticky crumbs.  
 
I shouldn’t have gone to bed with my hair in a bun. 
 
 
 



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