Newsletter and jokes 24 June 2022

Hi all 
It's school holidays and Elvis has arrived to help you get over the exam  
stress. Reviews have been generally positive, though why it got a 16 age  
limit here (versus PG13 in the USA and 12A in the UK) I don't know. 
The other mainstream release is a Teen Romance in Pictures, entitled (wait  
for it...) First Love, which has had little exposure elsewhere.  
Bollywood is rolling out Jugjugg Jeeyo, a family comedy-drama-romance. 
On the art side, there is the Encounters film Festival running at Killarney  
Mall, and the Lucia di Lammermoor opera and Shaka Zulu filmed play running 
at selected venues. 
New this week 
* Elvis (16 LVPD PPS) 
* First Love (13 S) 
* Jugjugg Jeeyo  (Hindi)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the home page poster  
This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper)  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Enjoy :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
My son came home from a session at our local swimming pool in a grumpy mood.  
When I asked why, he complained that he hadn't been able to do as many  
lengths as he would have liked to that evening. 
"The pool should have three lanes," he told me. "One for fast swimmers, 
one for slower swimmers, and one for women who just want to talk.” 
While chatting with my friend’s four-year-old son, the subject of age 
came up and I asked him when he would be five.  
With the look small children reserve for stupid adults he replied,  
“On my birthday.” 
There was a huge queue to get into the National Dominoes Championships  
until I pushed that guy at the back over. 
I was busted recently writing my name in wet cement.  
They had my name and my fingerprints. It was concrete evidence. 
My neighbour’s house doesn’t have any numbers on its door or postbox.  
I just feel like that’s something that needs to be addressed. 
I used to get teased quite a lot at school because I bore a slight 
resemblance to a bowl of custard.  
Luckily I had quite a thick skin. 
My online dating bio says I have a corner office with views of the entire 
city, drive a $500,000 vehicle and that I’m paid to travel. 
I don’t know why my dates are surprised when I tell them I’m a bus driver. 
Negotiations were at a standstill, so we took a break to let tempers 
simmer down. As my team and I stepped outside, I tripped and fell 
face-first down concrete steps, ripping my blouse and bloodying my 
arm and chin. 
When we returned to our client’s office, he looked alarmed. 
“What happened to you?”  
My colleague answered, “She recommended we accept your last offer.” 

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