Newsletter and jokes 23 September 2022

Hi all 
There are several definitions of when spring starts, the equinox today is  
one of them. In truth the seasons march slowly through the year, so the  
date also changes slowly. All to do with precession of the equinoxes. 
Anyway, exams are mostly done, some are on holiday, and there's a full  
line-up at the movies for entertainment. 
Starting as usual iwth the kiddies, we have the animated Big Trip 2:  
Special Delivery,which is from Europe rather than the USA, and has not been 
released Stateside yet so no reviews. 
This week's wide release is the rom-com Ticket to Paradise, which is best 
described as enjoyable even if not the best movie ever made.  
Then we have the re-release of Avatar, in all formats, so check it out on  
a big screen in 3D. 
On more limited release, and dragging all sorts of unpleasant "related" 
coverage with it, is the drama Don't Worry Darling, which failed to impress  
the critics, though Harry's fanbase may be more forgiving. 
From Bollywood, we have the actioner Prem Geet 3, and the murderous  
thriller Chup. 
On the art side, we have the Chinese comedy Give Me Five, and the filmed 
play Prima Facie. 
There are previews all over all day tomorrow for next week's revisionist  
history, The Woman King. Book early :-) 
New this week 
* Big Trip 2: Special Delivery (PG V) 
* Avatar (PG13 LV) 
* Avatar (3D) (PG13 LV) 
* Avatar (3D IMAX) (PG13 LV) 
* Avatar (4DX) (PG13 LV) 
* Ticket to Paradise (13 LD) 
* Don't Worry Darling (16 LSVD) 
* Give Me Five (Probably 13) 
* Prem Geet 3 (Probably 16 V) 
* Chup (Probably 16 V)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the home page poster  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper)  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Enjoy :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
My 90-year-old dad was giving a talk at our local library about his World 
War II experiences. 
During the Q&A period, he was asked, “How did you know the war was over?”  
He replied, “When they stopped shooting at me.” 
Wife [on the phone]: Did you preheat the oven like I asked? 
Me: Yep. 
Wife: What temperature did you set it to? 
Me: 534. 
Wife: That’s the clock. 
Me: ... 
Wife: ... 
Me: 535. 
My middle name is War-and-Peace. It’s a long story. 
Scanning the diner’s menu, I noticed that the offerings included both a  
hero and a sub.  
“What’s the difference?” I asked my waitress. 
“I don’t know. I’ll find out.” She walked into the kitchen and returned a  
minute later. “They’re both exactly the same.”  
“OK, I’ll have one.” 
Grabbing her pad and pencil, she asked, “Which one do you want?” 
My kid asked if he could stop wearing his Spider-Man coat outdoors because 
he’s tired of people mistaking him for a superhero. 
Before Willie Nelson’s longtime harmonica player, Mickey Ra­phael,  
officially joined the band, he’d show up at gigs and just start playing.  
After a while, Willie got confused, Mickey said.  
“One day, Willie asked Paul English, our drummer and bandleader,  
‘What are we paying Mickey?’  
And Paul goes, ‘Nothing; he’s just coming to sit in.’ 
Willie replies, ‘Well, double his salary.’ ” 
When I arrived at church one Sunday morning, I bumped into our pastor. 
“How are things at work?” he asked.  
“Father,” I said, “I’m so busy that every morning I make a list of five  
things that I have to do that day. If I make it to number three, it’s a  
good day.” 
The pastor nodded knowingly. “I’m the same way with the Ten Commandments.” 

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