Newsletter and jokes 30 September 2022


 
Hi all 
 
Holiday time and holiday fare. :-) 
 
For the little ones, we have the next episode in the Tad the Lost Explorer  
franchise, Tad the Lost Explorer and the Emerald Tablet, which takes a trip 
to ancient Egypt. 
 
Staying in Africa, but switching to the west, we have this week's big  
release, The Woman King, which kinda serves as an adults-only historical  
warm-up for the up-coming Wakanda sequel.  
 
Antonio Banderas headlines this week's action thriller, The Enforcer,  
which is aimed at the less-critical segment of the market. 
 
From India, we have the crime thriller Vikram Vedha, and the historical 
epic Ponniyin Selvan: Part One. 
 
New this week 
 
* Tad the Lost Explorer and the Emerald Tablet (PG7-9 V) 
* The Woman King (16 VP SV) 
* The Woman King (IMAX) (16 VP SV) 
* The Enforcer (16 NVD PPS) 
* Vikram Vedha (Probably 16 V) 
* Ponniyin Selvan: Part One (Hindi) (Probably 16 V) 
* Ponniyin Selvan: Part One (Tamil) (Probably 16 V) 
* Ponniyin Selvan: Part One (Telugu) (Probably 16 V) 
 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm   
 
Forthcoming attractions 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the home page poster 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
List of all movies showing 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
Showtimes 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm  
 
This Week's pinup 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full HD wallpaper)  
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
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After trick-or-treating, a teen takes a shortcut home through a cemetery.  
 
Halfway across, he’s startled by a tapping noise. Trembling, he spots an  
old man chipping away at a headstone with a chisel. 
 
“I thought you were a ghost!” cries the relieved teen. “What are you doing  
working so late?” 
 
“Oh, those idiots,” grumbles the old man. “They misspelled my name.” 
 
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The most embarrassing thing about Wordle is that when I don’t get it in  
three, I am convinced I am about to learn a brand-new word, and then it’s  
like ... THOSE 
 
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If you’re being chased by a pack of taxidermists, do not play dead. 
 
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The linguist’s husband caught her in the arms of another. 
 
“Susan,” he said, “I’m surprised!” 
 
“No, I’m surprised,” she corrected him. “You’re astonished.” 
 
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I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it  
the “brella”. But he hesitated. 
 
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Doctors got together to study the effects of alcohol on the way a person  
walks, and the results were staggering. 
 
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Become an elementary school maths teacher and make the little things count. 
 
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Not to brag, but I just filled up the petrol tank and doubled the value of  
my car. 
 
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I picked my sons up from school and stopped to get petrol. I invited them 
to get out of the car and learn how to do it. 
 
Afterwards, my 11 year old said: “Thanks for the life lesson but I’ll 
never drive a petrol car!”  
 
My 13 year old said: “This is like the time you showed us how a pay 
phone works!” 
 
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Managed to keep my house plant alive for three weeks this time. 
 
I think I’m ready to be a mum! 
 
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I started talking to my plants because it is good for them.  
 
But that has resulted in the most painful small talk.  
 
It was like “Hi... so you’re growing! That’s great. That’s great.  
Alright, well, yeah...” 
 
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Did you hear about the sickly magician with blisters and bad breath? 
He’s a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. 
 
A good magician’s assistant is hard to find. 
They’re highly sawed after. 
 
My cousin, a magician, decided to incorporate the use of trapdoors in his  
shows. 
I think it’s just a stage he’s going through. 
 
What do you call a magician who loses his magic? 
Ian. 
 
What do you call a magician who never stays in one place? 
A wand-erer. 
 
What do you call a dog thatcan do magic tricks? 
A labracadabrador. 
 
 
 



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