Newsletter and jokes 7 October 2022

Hi all 
The final quarter of an eventful year.  
Brotherhood from Nigerie is supposed to be showing but isn't listed in the  
line-ups, I'll see if it appears this evening. 
First up is actually an arthouse release at more venues than normal, based  
on the Paul Gallico classic, Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris. It's family-friendly 
and something to do for the last week-end of the hols ... 
The rest of the fare is adults only .. kicking off with the horror thriller 
Smile, which has had mostly decent reviews.  
Medieval is an historical war epic from Eastern Europe, which did not play 
well to American critics, although the public rated it higher.  
From India, we have the family drama Goodbye, and the political crime  
thriller, Godfather. 
There is a preview for The Legend of Maula Jatt at Suncoast on Thursday 
New this week 
* Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris (PG7-9) 
* Smile (16 LVH) 
* Brotherhood (16) 
* Medieval (18 LV) 
* Goodbye (probably PG) 
* Godfather (probably 16 V)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the home page poster  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
This Week's pinup (cellphone wallpaper)  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Enjoy :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
Anytime you hear a multi-word phrase, turn that phrase into an acronym on  
the fly (OTF) and repeat it back to them.  
This works best with three-word phrases, such as ‘point of contact’ (POC),  
‘public relations nightmare’ (PRN) or ‘product management system’ (PMS). 
Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? 
A: Every morning you'll rise and shine!  
"Madam, your son just called me an ugly swine!" 
The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him  
like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..." 
The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. 
"I can arrange some things for you," the devil said.  
"I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your  
clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and  
live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's soul,  
your children's souls, and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity." 
The lawyer thought for a moment.  
"What's the catch?" he asked. 
A second grader came home from school and said to her mother,  
"Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."  
The mother, more that a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.  
"That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?"  
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'." 
Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child, 
"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. 
But I like your thinking." 
Paddy and Murphy were doing a crossword. 
Paddy asks, "How do you spell paint"? 
Murphy replies, "What colour?" 
Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school  
School Secretary: Who is this? 
Pupil: This is my father speaking! 
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. 
It's when he learns Chuck Norris is. 
Doctors son: "Well, dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me  
some guidelines of success." 
Doctor father: "Always, write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills  
A mother noticed her little dauther praying. 
"Please, God," the little girl kept saying. 
"Bless my father and my mother and make Melaka the capital city of Malaysia." 
"Why did you make such as strange request?" the mother asked. 
"Because that's what I wrote in my Geography test this morning!" 

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