Newsletter and jokes 28 October 2022


 
Hi all 
 
Halloween week-end, and this year's offering is one in the vein of the  
exorcist, The Devil's Light.  
 
Also aimed at the adults, we have Call Jane, which takes a look at the  
issue of abortion before it was legalised in the USA, and the Triangle of  
Sadness, which won Palm d’Or at Cannes. It features up-and-coming South  
African actress Charlbi Dean, who sadly passed away a few months back. 
 
For the kiddies, we have a rare All-ages movie, Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile,  
which the little ones should enjoy.  
 
New this week 
 
* Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile (A) 
* Call Jane 16 (LD CT) 
* The Devil's Light (16 LVH) 
* Triangle of Sadness (16 LSPD) 
 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm   
 
Forthcoming attractions 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the home page poster 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
List of all movies showing 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
Showtimes 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm  
 
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
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I was mired in stop-and-go traffic when I accidentally rolled into the  
truck in front of me. I apologized profusely, and after seeing no damage,  
the truck driver and I got into our respective vehicles and drove on. 
 
Until, that is, I hit him again a minute later while he was stopped at a  
red light. This time, the driver climbed down from his truck, walked over, 
and asked, “How do you stop when I’m not here?” 
 
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During a job interview, the interviewer asked, “Where do you see yourself  
in five years?”  
 
“Um, I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years,” I replied. 
 
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We as humans are so lazy and entitled at this point. For example, I just 
typed two letters of a word on my laptop and then sat there waiting for  
something or someone else to do the rest. 
 
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Tim Apple: Use iphone 14 satellite calling when you get stranded in the  
wilderness 
 
Me who hasn’t left my house in 2 years: I must have this. 
 
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Me: I hate U2. 
My pro Bono lawyer: This won’t work. 
 
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Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity jar. Every time I have a 
pessimistic thought, I put a pound in the jar. 
 
It’s currently half empty. 
 
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I called into work this morning and whispered, “Sorry boss, I can’t 
come in today, I have a wee cough.”  
 
He exclaimed back to me, “You have a wee cough?” 
 
I said, “Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week.” 
 
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I just finished a job interview for a new position. They asked me, “Can 
you perform under pressure?” 
 
I replied, “I’m not sure, but I do an amazing ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’!” 
 
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My attempts to combine nitrous oxide and OXO cubes made me a laughing stock. 
 
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What’s the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac? 
 
A literalist takes things literally, and a kleptomaniac takes things, 
literally. 
 
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Google Earth is incredible. They’ve photographed every road in the world  
and put them on the computer. You just type it in and you go there. 
 
You sit in front of the computer and you think, I can go anywhere in the  
world. Where shall I go? And we all come to the same conclusion: My house. 
 
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I enjoy doing stand-up. Especially now that my life is so busy and so hectic. 
 
With stand-up, I can just go out and relax, and enjoy the silence. 
 
 
  



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