Newsletter and jokes 13 January 2023


 
Hi all 
 
So January starts off with a Friday the 13th ... hope that's not an omen!  
 
The main release this week is the rogue-AI horror thriller M3GAN, which is 
adults-only. Reviews have been mostly good. 
 
India fills out the line-up with three offerings, the Hindi action comedy  
Kuttey, and two Tamil films, the action adventure Thunivu, and the family 
drama Varisu.  
 
 
New this week 
 
* M3GAN (16 LVH) 
* Kuttey (probably 16 LV SV) 
* Thunivu (probably 13 LV) 
* Varisu (probably 13 L) 
 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm   
 
Forthcoming attractions 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the home page poster 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
List of all movies showing 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
Showtimes 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm  
 
This Week's pinup 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full HD cellphone wallpaper)  
 
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
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Two electric car owners were seen today fighting over a charging port. 
 
The police have said it was a charged environment and they will amp up  
patrols around area. A lot of witnesses were shocked and some saw someone  
socket to the other. 
 
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So I bought this Canary bird some time ago and it kept picking at my blinds  
which was costing me hundreds to continually replace. 
 
I go to the vet and ask for advice. 
 
The vet tells me to file off the birds beak ever so slightly, but that if I  
file it off too far it will not be able to pick up its food and it will die. 
 
A couple weeks pass and I see my vet on the street and he asks me how it  
worked with my bird. 
 
"The bird died," I replied. 
 
He shook his head and said 
 
"You filed the beak off too far didn't you?" 
 
"No," I replied again 
 
"It was dead when I took it out of the vice" 
 
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Speaking of canaries ... 
 
Despite the name, there are no canaries in the Canary islands. 
 
Same with the Virgin Islands ... no canaries either. 
 
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Why did the cheating husband cross the road? 
 
Well, to get to the other bride of course. 
 
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What's a honeymoon sandwich? 
 
Lettuce alone with no dressing! 
 
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Why did the main who stole my crops need an aspirin? 
 
Because he had my grains. 
 
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What do you call a toy alpaca that has obtained enlightenment? 
 
The Dolly Llama 
 
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I went up to my Hispanic friend and said “Mucho.” 
 
It means a lot to him. 
 
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I bought a book called 2023 Lighthouses. 
 
Huge ripoff— there were only 12 in there. 
 
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Back in the day... 
 
The poor had horses and the rich had cars. 
 
Nowadays the poor have cars and the rich have horses. 
 
How the stables have turned. 
 
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I told the women at work that botox doesn't make anyone look younger. 
 
Nobody looked surprised. 
 
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A truck loaded with Vicks Vaporub overturned on the highway. 
 
Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours. 
 
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Did you hear about the insomniac the police detained? 
 
They were charged with resisting a rest. 
 
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My buddy Joe has lost a lot of weight on the new Dolly Parton diet. 
 
It's made Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean. 
 
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When a man says he will do something, he will do it. 
 
You don’t need to remind him every six months. 
 
  



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