Hi all Twenty five years later, Jack is still floating... Titanic hits the screens again today, in the run-up to Valentine's Day, now remastered into 3D and the big IMAX and 4DX formats and extended run-time. Enjoy :-) The final episode in the Magic Mike beefcake series also opens today, for those who prefer their romance more steamy than wet. Lastly, Oscar hopeful The Whale rounds out the offerings, on the art and related circuit. There are previews all over on Valentine's Day for the upcoming rom-com Maybe I Do, and likewise premieres all over next Thursday for the next super-hero movie, Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. See the Previews page and remember to book. New this week * Titanic (3D) (13 LNVP) * Titanic (3D IMAX) (13 LNVP) * Titanic (4DX) (13 LNVP) * Magic Mike's Last Dance (16 LS) The Whale (16 LSPD) https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm Forthcoming attractions https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm Updated the home page poster https://www.moviesite.co.za/ List of all movies showing https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm Same list sorted by Age Restriction https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm This Week's pinup https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (cellphone wallpaper) Showtimes https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) Enjoy :-) Cheers, Ian --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A book fell on my head today I only have my shelf to blame --------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call a really stupid fish? A dumb bass --------------------------------------------------------------------------- There was a wooden shoe in my toilet. It was clogged. I think it was sabot-age. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife just confessed that she broke my favourite lamp. I don’t think I’ll be able to look at her in the same light ever again. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Today at work, some Karen told me she didn't appreciate me being so condescending towards her. That means I talk down to people. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I wouldn’t suggest calling the tinnitus help hotline. It just keeps ringing --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Went to the shrink today.. My doctor said that my narcissistic tendencies cause me to misread social interactions. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I bought a sweater that kept giving me static shock Thankfully the store replaced it with another, free of charge. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I quit my position making M1 Abrams to do something completely different. It's a tank-less job. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Who always says his name 1½ times? James Bond. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Broke up with a mobius strip today We had a one-sided relationship. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I had a job interview today. They asked how well I performed under pressure. "Not bad", I told them, "but I'm much better at 'We Will Rock You'!" --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A mobius strip walks into a bar looking pretty sad. Bartender asks what's wrong. Mobius strip: Where do I start? --------------------------------------------------------------------------- What does Forrest Gump have his email password set as? 1Forrest1 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- What does my Grandma and a modern website have in common? Making me Accept the Cookies on every visit. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Today I taught my son a valuable life lesson by eating his homework. Tomorrow he will learn that many people will not believe you, even when you tell the truth. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- In Russia a Man Goes to Buy a Car... He goes up to the owner and asks for a car, to which the owner responds: 'You know there is a 10 year waiting list?' The man then answers, 'OK,' and after some time he then agreed to buy a car. So he pays for the car in advance, and just before he leaves he asks the owner, 'Can I pick the car up in the morning or afternoon?' 'It's 10 years away, what does it matter?' 'The plumber is coming in the morning'. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- If Satan was a teacher, which subject would he teach? Trigonometry. There's a lot of sin involved. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- There’s a woman selling batteries in the park. She sells C cells by the seesaw. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dwayne Johnson wants to move to a peninsula south of Spain. He wants to be the Rock of Gibraltar. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call a woman who tells dad jokes? A faux pas. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you get a farm girl to marry you? First, a tractor.