Newsletter and jokes 24 February 2023


 
Hi all 
 
Forgot to mention last week that the Kevin Hart comedy thriller Die Hart, 
(actually part 2, but the first was not released here) opened on Wednesday. 
 
Today we have four more titles, aimed at the adult end of the market.  
 
First up is the mature rom-com Maybe I Do, with a clutch of ageing stars. 
 
We switch to the high-tech modern society for Missing, wher a daughter uses  
modern methods to find her missing mother.  
 
Cocaine Bear is a horror comedy thriller based on a true event, when a wild  
bear ate a little too much coke. 
 
Lastly, Bollywood has the Action Comedy Selfiee, starring Akshay Kumar. 
 
 
New this week 
 
* Die Hart (16 LV) 
 
* Maybe I Do (13 L) 
* Missing (16 V) 
* Cocaine Bear (18 LVD) 
* Selfiee (Hindi) 
 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm   
 
Forthcoming attractions 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the home page poster 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
List of all movies showing 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
This Week's pinup  
https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (cellphone wallpaper)    
 
Showtimes 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm  
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
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"Dad, can I borrow $10 worth of bitcoin?" 
 
"Borrow $11.62? ... What the hell do you need $7.45 of bitcoin for?" 
 
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What did the little boy say to his mom when a bunch of people fell through  
the ice on the frozen pond? 
 
Icy dead people 
 
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A recession is when your neighbour loses his job and a depression is when  
you lose yours. 
 
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Dad, can you explain what a Solar Eclipse is? 
 
No, son. 
 
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I was diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants. 
 
FeeFiPhobia 
 
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What did one DNA say to the other DNA? 
 
Do these genes make me look fat? 
 
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How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker was getting for Christmas? 
 
He felt his presents. 
 
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Why did the mushroom stop going to parties? 
 
He was tired of people telling him he was a fun guy. 
 
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I now identify as invisible. 
 
Although I was born visible, I am now trans-parent.  
My pronouns are who/where. 
 
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I told my girlfriend she painted her eyebrows on too high... 
 
She looked surprised! 
 
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I once met a warm & friendly sweet fruit flavoured drink. 
 
It was a cordial cordial. 
 
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My wife thinks I don't give her enough privacy. 
 
At least, that's what she said in her diary. 
 
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I’m fine with a substitute teaching math, science.. even music. 
 
But art class is where I draw the line. 
 
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President Biden ordered an F22 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy  
balloon. 
 
Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation. 
 
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Have you heard about the rising political tensions between yogurt and  
penicillin?  
 
One side is probiotic, and the other is antibiotic. 
 
They're calling it a culture war. 
 
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What time did Sean Connery go to Wimbledon? 
 
Tennish. 
 
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My doctor gave me three months to live. 
 
When I told him I wouldn't be able to come up with the money to pay the  
bill by then, he gave me three more. 
 
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A few days ago, I learned what confirmation bias meant. 
 
Now I see it everywhere. 
 
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It's important to develop a good vocabulary. 
 
If I had known the difference between the words "antidote" and "anecdote,"  
one of my best friends would still be alive. 
 
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I used to work in a circus for a few years. I was quite handy. 
 
I was the only person who could get the tent back in the bag. 
 
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I don't know much about psychology or sociology... 
 
But I reckon I can explain the Dunning-Kruger effect better than anyone else. 
 
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Reviews for the Hogwarts Legacy game are coming in. 
 
Most reviewers are giving it a 9 3/4 depending on the platform. 
 
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Q. Why didn't Charles Dickens enjoy his cherry popsicle? 
 
A. Because he had grape expectations. 
 
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A three legged dog limps into a saloon in the old west... 
 
He growls, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!" 
 
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I was sober for 12 years! 
 
Then I turned 13 ... 
 
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Today I started an argument with my wife while riding in an elevator. 
 
I was wrong on so many levels. 
 
 



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