Newsletter and jokes 3 March 2023


 
Hi all 
 
Two new movies this week, aimed at diametrically opposite markets, but both 
have good ratings. 
 
First up is the 3rd episode in the Creed series, promising more macho  
boxing action.  
 
On the art circuit, we have the Oscar hopeful Tár, which has a long list of  
awards and nominations. 
 
Wednesday sees the new Bollywood rom-com, Tu Jhoothi Main Makkaar. 
 
There are previews next Thursday for the upcoming Scream VI, see the  
previews page and remember to book :-) 
 
New this week 
 
* Creed III (13 LV) 
* Creed III (IMAX) (13 LV) 
* Tár (13 LVP) 
 
* Tu Jhoothi Main Makkaar (Hindi) 
 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm   
 
Forthcoming attractions 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the home page poster 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
List of all movies showing 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
This Week's pinup  
https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full HD wallpaper)    
 
Showtimes 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm  
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
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Why do fish live in salt water? 
 
Because pepper water makes them sneeze. 
 
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My wife has a successful Onlyfans account! 
 
I'm not sure how to tell her. 
 
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I was responding to another attorney's filing today but my heart wasn't in  
it. 
 
You could say I was just going through the motions. 
 
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I love the taste of clocks but... 
 
Eating them is time consuming. 
 
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A criminal's best asset is his liability. 
 
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Which monster is best at paying attention to a speech? 
 
Mummies. They sit there rapt. 
 
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I've been thinking about starting a community outreach program to teach  
inmates about literature... 
 
I'm still considering all of the prose and cons. 
 
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Last week I was so constipated.... 
 
I tried prunes and other home remedies with no relief.  
 
I was about to buy a rectal suppository but then I remembered an old friend  
who was a proctologist.... 
 
...and with friends like this who needs enemas. 
 
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My friend told me that he ate pavement. 
 
I asked him if he has any concrete proof of this. 
 
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After years of digging, a gold prospector finally found a small amount of a  
precious metal 
 
It was a miner success. 
 
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Adam and Eve had the perfect marriage... 
 
... he didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married and she  
didn't have to hear about the food his mom made. 
 
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I was given a single chance to fix an abacus. 
 
I better make it count. 
 
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I identify as Schrodinger's cat. 
 
My pronouns are is/isn't. 
 
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Jack: Rose! There’s enough room, you can save me!  
 
Rose: There’s one thing you should know about me Jack.  
      I’m actually 26 years old! 
       
Jack: ... 
 
Rose: Jack?  
 
Jack: drifts away into the dark depths of the ocean 
 
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A man with dementia walks into a bar. 
 
He spots a pretty lady, sits next to her and asks,  
"So, do I come here often?" 
 
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Doctors recommend not drinking while pregnant. 
 
My mom also recommends not drinking right before getting pregnant. 
 
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I was digging a hole in my backyard when I found a box filled with gold. 
 
I was so excited that I ran inside to tell my wife.  
 
Then I remembered why I was digging the hole in the first place. 
 
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Tom Hanks is the rudest celebrity I have ever met 
 
I asked for an autograph and all he wrote was Thanks. 
 
 



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