Hi all It was the Oscars last week-end and off-beat arthouse comedy Everything Everywhere All It Once made a nearly clean sweep, taking 7 of the top 8 Oscars. Well done :-) https://www.moviesite.co.za/news/oscars.htm It was also the Razzies, with Blonde, Morbius, and Elvis the big "winners." https://www.moviesite.co.za/news/razzie.htm The big release this week is the next episode from Shazam!, also on the big screens for your viewing pleasure. On the art-and-related circuit, we have the black gay military drama, The Inspection. Lastly, Bollywood heads north for a family drama, in Mrs. Chatterjee Vs Norway. Since we are now heading for the end of the first term, there are previews all over next Thursday for John Wick: Chapter 4, and also at selected venues for the Japanese anime Demon Slayer: To the Swordsmith Village. Curiously this is rated 13 here, while the USA went with R and the UK, 15. New this week * Shazam! Fury of the Gods (PG10-12 LV) * Shazam! Fury of the Gods (IMAX) Shazam! Fury of the Gods (IMAX) (PG10-12 LV) * Shazam! Fury of the Gods (4DX) Shazam! Fury of the Gods (4DX) (PG10-12 LV) * The Inspection (16 LNSVP) * Mrs. Chatterjee Vs Norway (Hindi) https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm Forthcoming attractions https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm Updated the home page poster https://www.moviesite.co.za/ List of all movies showing https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm Same list sorted by Age Restriction https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm This Week's pinup https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full HD wallpaper) Showtimes https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) Enjoy :-) Cheers, Ian --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Old McDonald had a farm, E I E I O. And on that farm he won 7 Oscars, E E A A O. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I might be paranoid about The CIA Or maybe it's the drugs they're putting in my coffee --------------------------------------------------------------------------- How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I've just started dating an anaesthesiologist. She's a real knockout --------------------------------------------------------------------------- People really should have known what was going to happen with Communism. There were so many red flags --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A T-Rex and a Velociraptor are sitting at the bar. The Velociraptor points to a Triceratops in the corner and says "Why is he getting served first?" and the T-Rex says "because he was herbivorous" --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 5 years in a row now... --------------------------------------------------------------------------- My 7 year old son came in from school today and asked me: "Dad, what kind of mouse can walk on 2 legs?" "Erm, I don't know" I replied "Mickey Mouse" he replied laughing "Dad, what kind of duck can walk on 2 legs" "Donald Duck" I replied "No, all ducks you idiot." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man rubs a bottle and a genie appears... Genie: I shall grant you three wishes. Man: I wish for a world without lawyers. Genie: Done. You have no more wishes left. Man: But you said I had three. Genie: Sue me. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I asked ChatGPT to write a joke about job hunting. It never got back to me. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I never though that orthopedic shoes would be good for me..... but, after trying a pair, I stand corrected. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- How does a baker in Alabama describe his occupation? “I’m in bread.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why can't Sherlock Holmes solve ANY crimes in Alabama? He can't find any dental records, and all the DNA is the same for everyone. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I’ve decided to sell my hoover... Well it was just collecting dust. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I asked the toy store manager where's the Arnold Schwarzenegger doll. He said "Aisle B Back." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- My music snob friend told me that The Doors had a lacklustre rhythm section. I asked him why he would say that, and he just shrugged his shoulders. I told him I’m sick of hearing these bassless accusations. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Walked by the YMCA yesterday. A teenage boy was sat there stroking a duck. I said "young man, there's no need to feel down..." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I spent a year turning wristwatches into a belt, but it broke when I put it on for the first time. Well that was a waist of time. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I have a copy of nearly every Psychology Today magazine ever published You could say I have a lot of issues. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I for one... Count like a Roman. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife says I have two major flaws One is that I never listen when she talks to me, and two was something else. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Apparently Pfizer is now selling a pill that treats skepticism. But I'm not buying it. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- What's the alternative to capitalism? Lowercase. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- No one could really figure out who set fire to the Cathedral of Notre Dame…. ... but Quasimodo had a hunch. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- The broom and dust pan will be kept in the hall closet from now on... ...and I'm considering other sweeping changes around here. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- My dad got me a PacMan shaped cake for my birthday. At least, that’s his explanation for the shape. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Although my wife is still young, I think she's showing early signs old dementia. For example, twice this week she told me she doesn't remember what she saw in me. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I hate it when people use metaphors that are physically impossible. It makes my blood boil. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife just stopped and said “you weren’t even listening were you?” I thought “that’s a weird way to start a conversation.“ --------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call a lizard that can punctuate five times in a row? A comma comma comma comma comma chameleon! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A cannibal brings a fortune teller home to his wife. He says, "Remember not to overcook this one. I like a medium rare." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just been to the doctors and she diagnosed me as paranoid… We’ll, she didn’t say that but I know that’s what she was thinking.