Hi all School's out and Easter next week, so this is a short week. The Mario brothers open next week Wednesday, and the other movies on Thursday. This week, we kicked off with the Bollywood action adventure Bholaa yesterday. Today sees the classic boardgame Dungeons & Dragons hit the big screen (again), including on IMAX, and reviews have been good, so enjoy :-) Also opening today is the local chickflick The Honeymoon, while Marlowe tries to kick-start a new franchise based on Raymond Chandler's famous fictional detective. No previews this week. New this week * Bholaa (3D) (Hindi) * Bholaa (Hindi) * Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves (13 LV) * Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves (IMAX) (13 LV) * The Honeymoon (16 L) * Marlowe (16 LVPD) https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm Forthcoming attractions https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm Updated the home page poster https://www.moviesite.co.za/ List of all movies showing https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm Same list sorted by Age Restriction https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm This Week's pinup https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full HD wallpaper) Showtimes https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) Enjoy :-) Cheers, Ian --------------------------------------------------------------------------- The level of pollution in the world today is becoming intolerable. Only the other day I opened a can of sardines to find it was full of oil and all the fish were dead. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- My granddad always used to say, “As one door closes, another one opens.” Lovely man. Terrible cabinet maker. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- You know times are rough when ... I showed up at a soup kitchen to volunteer and they served me. I went for a doctor's appointment. The doctor checked my pulse and said if I didn't know better, I would have thought you were dead. I said I've been married for twenty years, my life ended a long time ago. I dug a hole in my garden and my neighbour said a eulogy for me. I walked down a dead-end street and asked a guy if this is the end of the road? He said judging by the look of you, I would say so. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A KFC tower burger in April is amazing. But a KFC tower burger a month later is a May zinger. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- My friend didn't get my hat joke. I guess it went over her head. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man runs home from work. The second he gets home he finds his wife of 20 years, takes her into the bedroom and throws her on the bed, and pulled some blankets over them. The wife was shocked, the man hadn't been this way since they were young! Then the man turns to her and says: "look! My new watch glows in the dark!" --------------------------------------------------------------------------- What did the dad with milk sensitivities say to the waiter at a Mexican restaurant when asked if he wanted cheese with his taco? No whey, Jose. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- How are politicians like diapers? They need to be changed often and for the same reason. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Vampires love to bite throats, killing people & then returning them to life. Because vampires are neck romancers. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I accidentally sent my ex-girlfriend flowers over the internet. Whoops, e-daises. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I came home to an intervention put on by my ex-lovers, my mom and my dad. And this is why we need the Oxford comma. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Teacher, is it true that if you get married on Friday the 13th, you will be unhappy? Of course. Why should that day be an exception? --------------------------------------------------------------------------- In a fit of rage, a friend of mine ran over a pedestrian with his electric car. He will be charged with battery. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I wish they would stop playing the national anthem before games; I'm not unpatriotic; I just don't like country music. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm not saying that I'm a bad driver... But when I drive, my sat nav doesn't speak, it prays in Latin. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's crazy how many people are talking about the Oscars across all my social media feeds Everything is popping up everywhere, all at once --------------------------------------------------------------------------- To my favorite pond of water that completely evaporated last night: You will be mist. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just sorted out the work schedule for the zoo. The lion sweeps tonight. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife woke up with a big smile on her face... I'm not allowed to bring Sharpies to bed any longer. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- If I ever write a book on how to become a ventriloquist, I would title it: Ventriloquism for dummies. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- At the Indian restaurant, the waiter asked me, “Curry ok, sir?” Me: Ok. One song, and then I really need to go home. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who can extrapolate meaning from incomplete data... --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I think "Scarborough Fair" is Simon & Garfunkel's most haunting song. To this day, I still wonder, "Did Parsley save Rosemary in time?" --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chuck Norris is so tough... ...Bruce Lee could only kill him once. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I would be SHOCKED if you haven’t heard about these new corduroy pillows. I mean, they’re making headlines all over the world. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- If I ever meet someone named David wanting to start a family... I am going to suggest they name their first son Harley. This way I can introduce their kid as, Harley, David's son. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife asked me for peace and quiet while she made dinner. So I took the batteries out of the smoke detector. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I really shouldn't have pressed CTRL+Z. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but it turned out to be my undoing. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I think my ex girlfriend fell into poverty since we broke up. Every time I call her, she says, “Please leave me a loan.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- How many resumé writers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one: Single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns, and zero safety incidents, increasing workplace safety and productivity. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, and the other to give it an unexpected twist at the end. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Quit my job working in the helium factory. I wasn't going to be spoken to like that. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- The one thing I hate about superhero movies is how unrealistic they are, Like what are the chances that a billionaire would do anything to help ordinary people?