Newsletter and jokes 18 August 2023

Hi all 
Another full line-up this week. 
2023 is going to become a case study in marketing courses. Barbie started 
the hype machine early this year, and Oppenheimer, saddled with the same  
release date, cannily decided, "if you can't beat them, join them", and thus 
the Barbieheimer marketing meme was born, and what a great success it was. 
They tried linking the next Saw movie to Paw Patrol, since they are opening 
together Stateside, but the Internet was not buying Saw Patrol so that fell 
Today sees the arrival of another marketing case study ... the Little Movie  
That Could. Made on a budget of about 14.5 M$, which in Hollywood is nothing, 
Disney acquired Sound of Freedom when they bought Fox, and then, to their  
eternal shame, sat on it for over four years, refusing to release it.  
Other studios also declined to buy the distribution rights, so eventually 
the producers launched a crouwd-funding campaign to buy the release rights 
from Disney for 5 M$.  
The rest, as they say, is history. It launched in the USA of 4 July, and  
famously beat Indiana (which had opened the previous weekend, and word-of-mouth 
had already kicked in). Certain sections of the mainstream media went out  
of their way to disparage the movie, people involved with it, and even the  
type of person who would want to go and see it. All to no avail... the  
film has grossed over 170 M$ Stateside so far, which (in USA) is more than  
Indy or Mission Impossible has made, not to mention a string of other recent 
Disney box-office disasters. 
So why? It's about the second biggest crime after drugs: child trafficking. 
And you have to wonder what certain segments of the US media are afraid of. 
The releasing company organised a pay-it-forward marketing campaign, which  
allowed people to buy tickets for complete strangers, and this has  
contributed to its success. 
I have not seen it, but it is apparently very emotional, and tissues are  
The usual rundown of new releases... for the kiddies, an animated Japanese 
film (with subtitles, AFAIK), based on the TV series, Doraemon the Movie:  
Nobita's Sky Utopia. 
Then the latest in the superhero genre, Blue Beetle, where the fact that  
the hero is Latino is considered to some sort of breakthrough in the USA. 
Sound of Freedom is discussed above. For the adults, we have a Dracula 
origin story in The Last Voyage of the Demeter, which seems to be yet  
another who-dies-next bloodfest, as well as a re-release of a well-rated 
Korean crime thriller, Oldboy. 
Another re-release is the local film Mapantsula, which takes a look at  
the anti-apartheid struggle. 
We also have the Metallica M72 WORLD TOUR Live From TX at selected venues, 
and the art-on-screen Tokyo Stories, also at selected venues. 
No previews this week. 
Enjoy. :-) 
New this week 
* Doraemon the Movie: Nobita's Sky Utopia (PG V) 
* Blue Beetle (13 LV) 
* Blue Beetle (IMAX) (13 LV) 
* Sound of Freedom (13 LSV) 
* The Last Voyage of the Demeter (16 VH) 
* Oldboy (Probably 18 LSV) 
* Mapantsula (Probably 13 LVP)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the home page poster  
This Week's pinup (cellphone wallpaper)    
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Enjoy :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
How many lawyer jokes are there? 
Only 3. The rest are true stories. 
My girlfriend was really angry when I gave her a box of photos of all her  
old boyfriends for her birthday. 
I don't know why, she said she wanted an ex box. 
A man and his wife are walking past the graveyard… 
A man and his wife are walking past the graveyard, and notice there’s a new  
headstone, which says: 
The wife turns to her husband and, shaking her head disapprovingly, remarks 
“shameful, just shameful…” 
“What do you mean?” her husband asks. 
“Didn’t you see that?” she says. “They’re burying them three to a grave now!” 
Two female friends are in a bar and one of them says to another: 
"See those two crazy old ladies laughing? In 20 years we'll be like them!" 
The friend replies: "You can't drink that much Mary! That's a mirror! " 
What does Julius Caesar mainly use his iPhone for? 
CarPlay, DM 
X too, Brute 
I went to a Cannibal wedding yesterday. 
It was all going well, until they decided to toast the Bride and the Groom. 
My ex-wife compulsively counted things, and I ended up divorcing her. 
I wonder what she’s up to these days. 
I just saw a man with a tattoo of Howard, Donald, and Daffy fighting each other. 
He had all his ducks in a row. 
I thought that my pet alligator was going to eat me! 
Turns out he was just pulling my leg. 
Man killed by shark whilst on honeymoon. 
Doctors said he didn't suffer much as he'd only been married 5 days. 
Cats are like strippers – they sit on your lap and make you think they love you. 
I have a suntanning addiction, so only go on holiday in winter.  
I went cold Turkey last year. 
Last year, I had a great joke about inflation. But it’s hardly worth it now. 
So yesterday I went to buy a toilet brush.  
I’m going back to toilet paper.  
I don’t see how people do it. 
What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut? 
A Barbecue. 
What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut and then stepping back  
when the door opens… 
A receding hair line. 
Do you know what happens when your designer jeans get tangled in the dryer? 
Guess knot. 
It's been months since I ordered the book "How To Scam People Online"... 
It still hasn't arrived yet. 
I asked my teenage son to pass me the phone book. 
He laughed, called me a dinosaur and handed me his iPhone. 
So... the spider is dead, the iPhone is broken and my son is furious. 
What's the difference between a math book and a chemistry book? 
One has problems, and the other has solutions. 
An exam was taking place in Oxford's oldest and most traditional college... 
The ancient hall was packed with students in deep concentration. 
Halfway through, a student stood up, banged his desk and loudly demanded a  
pint of beer. 
The head examiner, furious at the disruption, asked him to 'explain yourself  
at once'. 
The student cited section 7.b of a long forgotten 13th century charter which  
stated students must receive a pint of ale at the mid-point of all exams. 
After finding a copy of the charter and seeing the student was right, the  
examiner begrudgingly dispatched an assistant to fetch a beer. 
As the student smugly sipped on his pint, the head examiner suddenly announced,  
"You are expelled from this college, effective immediately!" 
"Why?", asked the student. 
"For entering an exam hall without your sword." 
I phoned my boss's mobile.  
"I'm on the train heading to the south coast now." 
"What?.." he answered, sounding a bit annoyed.  
"It's five 'o' clock in the morning! What are you doing on a train?" 
"You tell me," I replied.  
"You're the one who told me to be in Brighton early this morning." 
Little Johnny is in second grade. They’re learning about different animals. 
The teacher asks Suzie, “Suzie, what do chickens give you?” 
Suzie answers, “eggs!” 
Teacher says, “very good Suzie. And Mark, what do pigs give you?” 
Mark says, “bacon!” 
Teacher goes, “excellent, Mark! Johnny, what do cows give you?” 
Johnnie answers, “usually homework.” 

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