Newsletter and jokes 8 september 2023


 
Hi all 
 
Load shedding severely impacting ability to get things done :-) 
 
Three new movies this week. First up is Bollywood superstar Shah Rukh Khan 
in Jawan, which is also available in dubbed Telugu, and some screenings on  
the big 4DX screens. 
 
For the families, we have the third in the comedic My Big Fat Greek Wedding 
franchise, while the Conjuring horror franchise rolls out The Nun II, for  
the adults, also on the big IMAX and 4DX screens. 
 
On Tuesday, you can catch Stop Making Sense: The IMAX Live Experience,  
a re-release of the Talking Heads "greatest concert film of all time",  
at Mall of Africa and V+A Waterfront. 
 
Enjoy. :-) 
 
New this week 
 
Jawan (Probably 16) 
Jawan (4DX)  (Probably 16) 
Jawan (Telugu)  (Probably 16) 
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 (PG7-9 D) 
The Nun II (16 VH) 
The Nun II (IMAX) (16 VH) 
The Nun II (4DX) (16 VH) 
 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm   
 
Forthcoming attractions 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the home page poster 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
List of all movies showing 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
Showtimes 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm  
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
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Her: What do you do? 
 
Me: Global prosthetics distribution. 
 
Her: So you’re an artificial limb salesman? 
 
Me: I prefer ‘international arms dealer’. 
 
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Why should you never remove the shell from your racing snail? 
 
It will make him sluggish. 
 
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I was dating someone with a lazy eye, but I broke up with her... 
 
Turns out she was seeing someone on the side. 
 
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My fitness instructor advised me to wear loose clothing while exercising. 
 
I would not have joined the gym if I had any loose clothing. 
 
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The girl I brought home last weekend didn't seem impressed by my collection 
of beer commercials. 
 
Apparently, she'd misunderstood when I told her I had six-pack ads. 
 
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When I go to parties, I always take my teddy bear with me. 
 
It's my plush one. 
 
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I've been told that I'm either naive or stupid. 
 
I'm not sure which side I'm moron. 
 
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After many years of Burning Man, the organizers decided to change the theme 
this year. 
 
For the first time in history, we welcome you all to Drowning Man Festival. 
 
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MY SON WAS JUST BORN! Another dad at the nursery congratulated me!  
 
His daughter was born yesterday... "Maybe they’ll get married," he said. 
 
Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age! 
 
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My wife asked for a divorce today. Said I was too un-American. 
 
Saw it coming from a kilometer away. 
 
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When one door closes, another door opens. 
 
Other than that, I love my new car. 
 
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What do you call birds that stick together? 
 
Vel-crows 
 
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My wife has just told me to pack my bags and get out. 
 
As I walked through the door she screamed :  
"I hope you spend the rest of your life in misery and pain." 
 
I said: "Make your mind up, one minute your telling me to get out and now  
you want me to stay." 
 
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Justice is best served cold. 
 
Because if it were warm, it would be justwater. 
 
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My wife left me because I use only one brand for my clothes, sportswear and  
colognes. 
 
Turns out she's Lacoste intolerant. 
 
 



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