Newsletter and jokes 20 October 2023


 
Hi all 
 
As we head into exam season, the focus is on adult fare with an art bent. 
 
We first take a look at modern dating and its perils, in Cat Person.  
 
Then veteran director Martin Scorsese and some of his favourite actors,  
DiCaprio and De Niro, are back in a period drama set in the turbulent 1920s. 
This has received high praise and is likely to be an leading Oscar contender. 
 
India has three offerings, the crime action Leo in Tamil, and the sci-fi 
thriller Ganapath and rom-dramedy Yaariyan 2, both in Hindi. 
 
There are assorted Film Festival movies screening at the Zone, as well as  
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1, as we build up to the new one coming  
next month.  
 
Best of Enemies (Theatre) is on at the art venues. 
 
Enjoy. :-) 
 
New this week 
 
* Cat Person (16 LSVP) 
* Killers of the Flower Moon (16 LVPD) 
* Killers of the Flower Moon (IMAX) (16 LVPD) 
* Leo (Probably 16) (Tamil)  
* Ganapath (Probably 16 V) (Hindi)  
* Yaariyan 2 (Hindi)  
 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm   
 
Forthcoming attractions 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the home page poster 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
List of all movies showing 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
This Week's pinup  
https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full HD wallpaper)    
 
 
Showtimes 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm  
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
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An airplane's propeller is just a big fan, and its purpose is to keep the  
pilots cool. 
 
Need proof? 
 
Watch how much they "sweat" when it stops spinning! 
 
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A chicken farmer was found dead near his coop. 
 
Police suspect fowl play. 
 
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Chuck Norris was petting a tiger. 
 
Suddenly the tiger began to utter a soft growl.  
 
The trainer said, "get up slowly and back away."  
 
So, the tiger did. 
 
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Doctor : "After the operation, you will be able to meet your family members  
tomorrow….!" 
 
Patient: "But I am all alone Doctor!! All the family members have passed  
away!!" 
 
Doctor : "I know..." 
 
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On my Tinder profile it says I'm a professional boxer.... 
 
Sounds better than saying I work in the packaging department at an Amazon  
warehouse. 
 
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I got a job as a barista. 
 
The pay isn’t great, but the free coffee is a perk. 
 
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If I had a Rand for every woman that didn't find me attractive, they'd  
eventually find me attractive. 
 
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Just overheard at a Waffle House... 
 
Two elderly guys were having breakfast next to us. One guy reflectively said: 
 
“Well at 81 my options on what to do are limited. ... But hey, maybe I can  
run for President.” 
 
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What did the Tibetan monk say when he saw the face of Jesus in a tub of  
margarine? 
 
“I can’t believe it’s not Buddha.” 
 
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My friends down here in Texas keep telling me about the sun having an eclipse. 
 
I couldn't see anything, though. The moon was in the way the entire time. 
 
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A bear walks into a bar and sits by the counter, waiting for the bartender to attend to him. 
 
Bartender asks. "What would you like to drink?" 
 
The bear replies, " A whiskey and...." 
 
The bartender raises an eyebrow. 
 
The bear continues after a thought. "... And a coke" 
 
The bartender nods but asks. "Alright, but why the big pause?" 
 
The bear shrugged innocently and said. "I was born with them." 
 
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The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the  
British or Americans.  
 
The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the  
British or Americans.  
 
The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than  
the British or Americans.  
 
The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart  
attacks than the British or Americans.  
 
The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer  
fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.  
 
Conclusion:  
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. 
 
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I was looking up the history of past US Presidents and I realized a  
startling fact. 
 
Statistically, an American President has been indicted on an average of more  
than two felonies. 
 
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Helium walks into a bar.  
 
The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.” 
 
He doesn’t react. 
 
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A programmer finds a genie on the darkweb, and the genie messages him:  
"YOU GET THREE WISHES."  
 
So the programmer excitedly immediately wishes to be a billionaire.  
 
The genie messages back: "Hold on there pally it's not that easy. You gotta  
get me out of the darkweb first and into a LAMP." 
 
So the programmer starts the download and the genie messages:  
"Alright but before I can grant the wish I'm going to need you to set up an  
interactive environment and a gui so we can interact correctly." 
 
So the programmer gets to work, hours and hours and hours pass and after 10  
hours of nonstop frantic coding the programmer complains:  
"Why is it so hard to set everything up for a code-genie?" 
 
And the genie replies: "If you wanted an easy setup, you should have used a  
wizard." 
 
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I used to be in a reggae band once. I played the triangle. 
 
I ended up leaving though, it was just one ting after another. 
 
 



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