Hi all A somewhat low-key week this week, with the two big releases not as big as your typical blockbusters. I guess that's because it's exam time and there are already some big movies on circuit for your enjoyment. They're also almost all aimed at older audiences. On the positive side, the quality is generally quite good, so enjoy... :-) M O V I E S Released 3 June 2016 * Mrs Right Guy (13 L) * Money Monster (16 L) * A Bigger Splash (16 LNSD) * Hardcore Henry (18 LV PPS) * Housefull 3 (Hindi) * Everybody Wants Some!! (16 LD) http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm SA Top Tens (commercial, best and worst movies on circuit) http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm The US and UK Top Tens. Industry news updated daily. http://www.moviesite.co.za/news/newsitem.htm Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, Nu Metro, MovieZone, CineCentre, Movies@, Labia) http://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm Forthcoming attractions for 10 June. http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm Updated the pic and quote on the home page http://www.moviesite.co.za/ This Week's pinup http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (off-beat full HD wallpaper) Pick of the Week http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first. http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm List of all movies showing http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm Same list sorted by Age Restriction http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) Cheers, Ian ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- National Health Insurance new option Part G* Assume you are a senior citizen and can no longer take care of yourself. The government says there is no Nursing Home care available for you. So, what do you do? You opt for Medicare Part G. The plan gives anyone, 75 or older, a gun (Part G) and one bullet. You are allowed to shoot one worthless politician. This means you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life... You will receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library, and all the Health Care you need. Need new teeth? No problem. New glasses? Piece of cake! What about hearing aids, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, s*x change, or heart surgery? They are all covered! As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now! And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you they 'can't afford for you to go into a nursing home.' And you will get rid of a useless politician to boot! And now, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any more income taxes! Is this a great country or what? Now that you have solved your senior financial plan, enjoy the rest of your week! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The British Penny The British Penny European Union Directive No. 456179 In order to bring about further integration with the single European currency, the Euro, all citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland must be made aware that the phrase "Spending a Penny" is not to be used after 31 May 2016. From this date forward, the correct term will be: "Euronating". It is hoped that this will be a great relief to everyone. If you have any questions, just give me a tinkle. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The difference between CRAZY and STUPID A truck driver was doing his usual delivery to the Mental Hospital. He discovered a flat tire when he was about to leave. He jacked up the truck and took the flat tire off. When he was about to replace the flat tire with the spare tire, he accidentally dropped all the nuts into a storm drain. Realizing he can't fish the nuts out, he starts to panic. A patient walking by asks him what happened. The driver told him his problem. And the patient said "Can't even fix such a simple problem... no wonder you are destined to be a truck driver..." "Here's what you can do, take one nut each from the other 3 tires and then tighten them on to the spare. Then drive to the nearest garage and replace the missing ones, easy as that!" The driver was very impressed and asked: "You're so smart but why are you here in a Mental Hospital?" Patient replied: "Hello, I am here because I'm CRAZY, not STUPID!! " -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Been having this online conversation with a 14 year old chick. She's cool, sexy, flirty and very funny. She now tells me she's an undercover cop!! How cool is that at her age? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?" The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband."