Newsletter and jokes 12 January 2018

Hi all 
Well the Golden Globes came and went, I suppose the big disappointment on 
the night was for The Shape of Water, which had the most noms but only 
picked up 1 award. It's also got a bunch of noms for the BAFTAs, maybe it 
will have better luck there. 
Results are here:  
The big winner was Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, which means 
the distributors are rolling out more prints this week in the USA. 
The Shape of Water opens here next week, and Billboards late in Feb. 
Last weekend Jumanji had a smashing opening locally, totally surpassing 
Star Wars, and made more in one weekend (32 Mill) than Justice League 
did in eight. Rather remarkable. 
As the academic year kicks off this week, the lineup is aimed at older 
audiences. First up is Liam Neeson back in action on a train, then  
two arthouse cross-over releases, one based on a true story, and the other 
looking at what consitutes success for people heading for their midlife 
Lastly the Indian subcontinent has four offerings, two each in Hindi and  
No previews this week. 
Enjoy :-) 
Released 12 January 2018 
* The Commuter (16 LV) 
* The Commuter (IMAX) (16 LV) 
* Molly's Game (16 LVD) 
* Brad's Status (13 L) 
* Mukkabaaz (Hindi) 
* Thaanaa Serndha Koottam (Tamil) 
* Aruvi (Tamil) 
* 1921 (Hindi)  
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (full cellphone HD wallpaper)  
Pick of the Week  
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
1. Money cannot buy happiness but somehow, its more comfortable to cry in a 
Mercedes Benz than it is on a bicycle. 
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the punk's name. 
3. Help a man when he is in trouble & he will remember you when he is in 
trouble again. 
4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them. 
5. Alcohol does not solve any problem, but then again neither does milk. 
Three Irishmen are sitting in the pub window seat, watching the front door 
of the brothel over the road. 
The local Methodist vicar appears, and quickly goes inside. 
"Will you look at that?" says the first Irishman. 
"And didn't I always say what a bunch of lying hypocrites they are?" 
No sooner are the words out of his mouth than a Rabbi also goes inside. 
"There's another bunch who try to fool everyone with their pious preaching 
and funny little hats," says the second Irishman. 
They continue drinking their beer roundly condemning the vicar and the 
rabbi when they see their Catholic Priest knock on the door and go inside. 
"Oh, how sad!" says the third Irishman. 
"One of the girls must have died!" 
The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. 
They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to 
drill for their own oil. 
My mate's missus left him last Thursday, she said she was going out for a 
pint of milk & never come back! 
I asked him how he was coping and he said,"Not bad, I've been using that 
powdered stuff." 
The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my wife. 
They said, "Is this your wife, sir?" 
Shocked, I answered, " Yes." 
They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus." 
I said, "I know, but she has a lovely personality." 
Paddy's in jail. The Guard looks in his cell and see's him hanging by his 
"What are you doing?" he asks. 
"Hanging myself," Paddy replies. 
"It should be round your neck," says the guard. 
"I tried that," says Paddy, "but I couldn't breathe." 
Two Irishmen are hammering floorboards down in a house. 
Paddy picks up a nail, realises it's upside down & throws it away. 
He carries on doing this until Murphy says, "Why are you throwing them 
"Because they're upside down," says Paddy. 
"You daft prat," replies Murphy, "save 'em for the ceiling!!" 

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