Newsletter and jokes 23 February 2018

Hi all 
After all the upheavals last week I forgot to mention that last week was  
actually a very strong week in terms of high-ranking movies, and this week is, 
if anything, even better. It's possibly one of the strongest lineups we've 
had in years. 
We kick off with those Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, which comes 
bearing four Golden Globes, five BAFTAs, and seven Oscar noms. Although 
The Shape of Water has been leading in terms of nominations, it's Billboards 
that has been getting the awards. 
It's joined on circuit with somewhat controversial fellow nominees Call Me by  
Your Name and Lady Bird, with the hand-painted homage to Van Gogh, Loving 
Vincent, bringing up the rear. 
For those who like their film entertainment a litte more rough and ready, we 
have Ethan Hawke delivering justice in 24 Hours to Live, while India supplies us 
with rom-coms and crime drama. 
On the preview side, there are previews on Saturday for Game Night, and previews 
Saturday and Sunday for Gnome Alone .... see the previews page and remember to 
Businesswise, Black Panther set all sorts of records Stateside last weekend,  
and they have high hopes for continued good performance this weekend. 
Released 23 February 2018 
* Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (16 LVP) 
* Call Me by Your Name (16 LNSD) 
* Lady Bird (16 LSD) 
* Loving Vincent (13 LVD) 
* 24 Hours to Live (16 LV) 
* Sonu Ke Titu Ki Sweety (Hindi) 
* Welcome to New York (3D) (Hindi) 
* Welcome to New York (Hindi) 
* Naachiyar (Tamil)  
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper)  
Pick of the Week  
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a 
courthouse or Parliament, is this: 
You cannot post - 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a 
building full of lawyers, judges and politicians.... It creates a hostile 
working environment. 
Cricket is a game in which there are 2 sides - one out on the field, and 
the other in. 
Each man in the side that is in goes out, and when he is out he comes in, 
then the next man goes out until he's out and then he comes in. 
When the side that is in is all out, the side that has been out goes in, 
and the side that was in goes out and tries to get the side that went 
in out. 
Sometimes there are men still in and not out when the side that is in is 
finally out. When both sides have been in and out, including those not out 
and no longer in - that is the end of the game. 
It should be clear now. 
Went to the cemetery the other day and saw 4 men carrying a coffin, 3 hours 
later saw the same 4 men with the same coffin. 
Thought to myself, they've lost the plot ... 
I was driving to work this morning when a tow truck passed me. 
The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. 
I thought to myself "that guy's heading for a breakdown". 
Took a girl home from the pub last night but I ended up falling asleep on 
the sofa... 
Must have drunk her drink by mistake! 
Last night I got so drunk that when I got to the bottom of the stairs, I 
took off my shoes, coat, top, trousers and underwear. 
Then I crept upstairs very quietly, so as not to wake the kids or my other 
It was only when I got to the very top I realised I was still on the bus 
The government has announced that for the new school curriculum, boys are 
going to study the workings of the female mind. 
The lessons, however, will be changed on an hourly basis. 
A Irish recruit had only been a soldier for two weeks when he found himself 
up before the commanding officer for a minor offence. 
"You have a choice Paddy" said the CO "either 30 days confined to barracks 
peeling potatos or 20 days pay." 
Paddy thought for quite a while then said "I think I'll take the money." 

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