Newsletter and jokes 12 October 2018

Hi all 
It's pretty much adult fare this week, with one release for the teens, and 
nothing new for the kiddies. 
First up is what is probably the last instalment of the Halloween series, 
with Jamie Curtis reprising her role from the first film all those years 
ago. Critical ratings are above average so it should be good. The film, and 
Curtis, have attracted some negative coverage in the US because she proves 
quite handy with firearms in the film, but in real life is an anti-gun  
Sticking with adult action, have the remake of Papillon, bringing a new  
look for modern audiences. The other other main-stream release is The  
Titan, which is sci-fi and seems to have been unreleased in the US, hence 
reviews are scarce. 
Rounding out the Hollowood offerings is gritty urban drama The Hate U Give, 
which is highly rated, and doing very well on a per-screen basis in limited 
release in the USA. As previously mentioned, I think we may see this title 
getting some glow during awards season. 
The subcontinent has four offerings this week, two each Hindi and Tamil, 
ranging from comedy through drama to crime action. 
And then last but not least, the local industry is releasing Kanarie, about 
the old SADF choir during the bush war. The film has already picked up  
several awards, and hopefully, given the gay angle, will be spared the  
problems that The Wound had. 
On the previews side, there are previews on Sunday for The Little Vampire, 
and on Thursday for Peppermint, both only at selected cinemas. See the  
previews page and remember to book. 
Enjoy :-) 
Releasing 19 October 2018 
* Papillon (16 LV) 
* Kanarie (16 LNSVP) 
* The Hate U Give (13 LVPD) 
* The Titan (16 LVD) 
* Halloween (18 LVH) 
* Namaste England (Hindi) 
* Sandakozhi 2 (Tamil) 
* Badhaai Ho (Hindi) 
* Vada Chennai (Tamil)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (cellphone wallpaper)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
A male colleage was recently showing off at work about how attractive he  
was to the opposite sex. 
He said, "You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success  
and, really, there's no difference between me and Brad Pitt!" 
We had a great au pair for about a year but then she left and my wife was  
really upset.  
"I don't understand," she moaned,  
"We treated her like one of the family." 
Our eldest son, Robbie overheard her and quickly retorted "Yes, and that's  
exactly why she left! 
My grandfather, 74, who used to be quite sporty was asked by friends if he  
wanted to run in a charity marathon.  
"I haven't run in years" he told them. "I get out of breath just walking up 
the stairs".  
They told him it was a pity as it was a marathon for mostly handicapped 
Grandad thought for a moment and then said, "Wait a minute. I could win  
this... !" 
I was playing snap with my four-year-old grandson, Lucas, and  
I kept winning. I felt sure that he was letting me win.  
I asked him if he was and he confessed. So I asked why he had  
been letting me win all the time.  
"Because you're very old, Grandma," came his reply. 
Like all teenage boys, my grandson is constantly hungry.  
I went to the refrigerator to find something he might like. 
After poking around a bit and moving the milk and juice cartons,  
I spotted a bowl of leftover chilli and called out to him excitedly.  
He came running into the kitchen. 
"Look! I found some chilli!" I said to him, anticipating his glee.  
Struggling to be polite he replied, "If you're that surprised, I'm not  
really sure that I want it!" 
While shopping recently, I overheard a gentleman talking to one of the shop 
“Do you have a casserole?”  
The assistant looked a little puzzled for a moment before taking him over  
to the casserole dishes. 
“Well, one of those isn’t going to keep the sun off my head, is it?” the  
man said in disgust, turning a dish upside down and holding it over his  
head. “I need it for the garden.”  
“Ah, a parasol?” the assistant asked, enlightenment dawning. 
“That’s what I said,” the man insisted.  
And, of course, the customer is always right.... 
My doctor told me that I need to lose some weight.  
I said, “How?” 
He said, “Don’t eat anything fatty.” 
I asked, “What, pies, chips, that kind of thing?” 
He said, “No, just don’t eat anything, fatty.” 
My yoga teacher would let me do the modified version of everything. 
So, for example, the class would do downward dog and she would just let  
me eat ravioli.  
I received an academic scholarship and then I used that money for my BA in  
That’s like if you won the lottery and then just spent all the money on  
Beanie Babies.  
I think a tree house really insensitive.  
That’s like killing something and then making one of its friends hold it.  
I’m a positive person. To me, going bald isn’t about hair loss.  
It’s about face gain. 
Why don't mummies take time off? 
 They’re afraid to unwind.  

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