Newsletter and jokes 14 December 2018

Hi all 
School's out and the kids are running wild. Well, I hope not... :-) 
This week has two very good releases, and three that didn't quite hit that 
"Impress" button. First up is yet another Spider-Man movie, this time 
animated rather than live action, but it's getting rave reviews from  
press and public alike and I've even seen that O-word (Oscar) mentioned, 
so go and enjoy... :-) 
Also up there with the High Star count is Roma, a new release from Alfonso  
Cuarón, which is on the art circuit and will not be everyone's cup of tea, 
but for lovers of film as art, it's hitting all the right notes and getting 
plenty of "best film I've ever seen" type comments. And yes, Oscar is  
Moving onto the more low-brow fare, we have another animated film for the  
little kiddies, with a Christmas angle, in Elliot the Littlest Reindeer, 
which is aimed at a younger crowd than Spider-Man. 
Then JLo makes a return to the big screen in a female-friendly comedy and 
provides some counter-programming to the week's other big release, Mortal  
Engines, based on the first in a Young Adult novel series. Despite the big 
names behind the production (Lord of the Rings guys), early reviews are 
very average. 
But the good news doesn't end there... we have some previews, since Monday 
is a holiday, we have Aquaman showing all over all day Monday, and  
Bumblebee likewise on Sunday. See the previews page and remember to book. 
Enjoy :-) 
Releasing 14 December 2018 
* Elliot the Littlest Reindeer (PG) 
* Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (3D) (PG10-12 V PPS) 
* Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (PG10-12 V PPS) 
* Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (4DX) (PG10-12 V PPS) 
* Second Act (16 LD) 
* Mortal Engines (13 V) 
* Mortal Engines (3D) (13 V) 
* Mortal Engines (3D IMAX) (13 V) 
* Roma (16 LNVD)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (cellphone wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
At the outpatient surgery centre where I work, the anaesthesiologist 
chats with patients before their operations to help them relax. One day, he 
thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker from the army hospital 
where he had trained.  
When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, the  
anaesthesiologist said, “So tell me, is the food there still as bad as it  
used to be?” 
“I suppose,” she replied. “I’m still cooking it.” 
The news.... 
Scientists have discovered what may be the world’s largest bedsheet.  
More on that as it unfolds. 
Overworked janitor sweeps the nation. 
My corduroy pillow has been making headlines all week. 
I don’t know who’s worse, the people who sign their cats’ names on  
Christmas cards or the cats who refuse to sign. 
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present ... they 
are due back at the library tomorrow. 
A former Russian premier had a penchant for getting himself photographed in 
all kinds of groups. Once he stood among a few piglets, which made it  
difficult for the reporter to give an appropriate caption.  
Neither ‘Premier with pigs’ nor ‘Pigs with premier’ sounded quite right. 
So he finally decided on ‘Our beloved Premier ... third from left’. 
We asked prospective job applicants at our company to fill out a  
questionnaire. For the line “Choose one word to summarize your strongest  
professional attribute”, one woman wrote, “I’m good at following 
Everyone who lined up 30 minutes early to board the plane is gonna be so  
mad when we all land at the same time. 
The cat could very well be man’s best friend but would never stoop to  
admitting it. 
As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. 
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods;  
they have never forgotten this. 

Xax International logo
 Xax International
 All rights reserved.