Newsletter and jokes 21 December 2018

Hi all 
Christmas is around the corner and the malls are buzzing... I hope. In  
keeping with that idea, Bumblebee is hitting the screens today, as a 
Transformers-spinoff trying to attract a slightly older female audience.  
The girls, I'm sure, would much rather be ogling Aquaman, this week's other 
big release. So either way, enjoy :-) 
On the art circuit is the multi-award-winning Scandanavian drama The  
Square, which will probably not be everyone's cup of tea. It was Oscar- 
nominated last year for Best Foreign Language film. 
The Indian subcontinent has two offerings, one Hindi and one Tamil, with  
the Hindi comedy Zero on reasonably wide release. 
And the previews .... Disney's next big release, the return of Mary  
Poppins, is showing all over all day on Boxing Day ... go treat the family. 
Short and sweet this week, madam wants to go ice-skating ... 
Enjoy :-) 
Releasing 21 December 2018 
* Aquaman (3D) (13 LVPD) 
* Aquaman (13 LVPD) 
* Aquaman (3D IMAX) (13 LVPD) 
* Bumblebee (PG10-12 LV) 
* Bumblebee (3D) (PG10-12 LV) 
* The Square (16 LSVP SV) 
* Zero 
* Seethakaathi   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (Full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
It was a typical noisy dinner at my parents’ home, and Dad was having  
trouble following the conversations. He kept jumping in with off-topic  
comments and asking for things to be repeated. I finally told him he needed  
to get a hearing aid. 
Looking at me as if I were crazy, he said, “What would I do with a hand  
I asked my brother-in-law, the father of four boys, “If you had it to do  
all over again, would you still have kids?” 
“Yes,” he said. “Just not these four.” 
The biggest change after having kids was putting a swear jar in the house.  
Whenever I say a bad word, I have to put a dollar in the jar, and at the  
end of every month, I take all that money and buy myself a nice steak for  
being such a cool dad. 
After a rough day spent corralling my rowdy kids, I’d had enough.  
“I think I’m going to sell them,” I hissed to my sister. 
“You’re crazy,” she said. 
“For thinking of selling them?” 
“For thinking someone would buy them.” 
“Pretty sure my main job as a father of daughters is to make sure none of  
them become contestants on The Bachelor.” 
One of my biggest fears is that I’ll marry into a family that runs 5Ks on  
Sometimes I am amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from  
scratch yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets. 
My kids wanted to know what it’s like to be a mom, so I woke them up at  
2 a.m. to let them know my sock came off. 
Not sure if I should be more concerned about the son who locked me out of  
my bedroom today or the one who showed me how to pick the lock. 
Daughter: You’re invading my personal space. 
Mother: You came out of my personal space. 

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