Newsletter and jokes 15 February 2019

Hi all 
Well I trust you all had quiet romantic candlelit dinners last night, and  
early to bed. Remember to send Eskom a thank-you note. 
From my side, this past week has been exceptionally hectic, because I fall 
in one of the areas where the fibre supplier has been having issues  
reconnecting everyone after the rolling black-outs. So have been offline  
for far too many hours, leading to immense frustration as the work still 
needs to get done... 
Anyway, what's new at the cinemas ... from Hollywood we have a rather small 
line-up, headlined by Alita: Battle Angel, which is showing in all  
available formats, including the "Extreme" 2D and 3D versions at some  
Nu Metro venues. 
That's joined by Green Book, which is on both the art and commercial  
circuits, and has enjoyed some love from the Golden Globes and even a  
BAFTA, amongst other awards and noms.  
Speaking of the BAFTAs, Roma, The Favourite and Bohemian Rhapsody did well, 
while A Star is Born mostly got rejection notices... as well as did First 
Man. Guess they're all a bit cheesed off, while Alfonso Cuarón is calling  
in the cabinet makers to enlarge his trophy shelf.  
Then we have another local release, joining the three already on the Top  
Ten, which is a somewhat offbeat romantic / self-development drama called 
Liewe Lisa. 
The subcontinent has four new releases, basically playing "pick a language, 
any language," with offerings in Hindi, Tamil, Telugu and Punjabi which  
should cater for most of the local fanbase. 
On the previews side there is a Girls Night Out on Tuesday, for the  
upcoming comedy What Men Want, and for the kiddies, there are previews at 
select cinemas on Sunday noon for The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part. 
Enjoy :-) 
Releasing 14 February 2019 
* Alita: Battle Angel (3D) (16 LVD) 
* Alita: Battle Angel (16 LVD) 
* Alita: Battle Angel (3D IMAX) (16 LVD) 
* Alita: Battle Angel (4DX) (16 LVD) 
* Liewe Lisa (13 LSD) 
* Green Book (13 LVPD) 
* Dev (Tamil) 
* Dev (Telugu) 
* Gully Boy (Hindi) 
* Kala Shah Kala (Punjabi)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (Full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
Our family was playing the game Outburst. One of the topics was the Ten  
Commandments. Everyone shouted over one another as we called out answers,  
including my eight-year-old grandson, who yelled, 
“Thou shalt not admit adultery!” 
Great hoopla followed my newborn son’s umbilical cord’s falling off.  
So it was only natural that during one of his nappy changes, his  
eight-year-old sister would point and ask excitedly,  
“Will that fall off too?” 
Herein lies the difference in my kids’ personalities:  
My teenage son bought me a beautiful necklace;  
my daughter called dibs on it when I die. 
My granddaughter put my three-year-old great-grandson on the phone.  
After a few minutes of chatting, I told him I loved him.  
He replied that he loved me too. And then, as an afterthought, he asked,  
“Aren’t you the one who passed away?” 
When her six-year-old daughter and four-year-old son ran outside to play  
with their new toy, my sister sat back to enjoy a cup of coffee and a rare  
moment of quiet.  
The peace was shattered when my nephew ran back into the house, crying. 
“What’s wrong?” my sister asked.  
“She won’t stop calling me Roger!” he sobbed, and threw down his new  
A book I’d ordered arrived in the mail. I unwrapped it and flipped through  
its pages. My 21-year-old son was at the other end of the table, gesturing  
as if he wanted to see the book.  
I started to hand it to him, when he stopped me. 
“No, I’ll take the trash,” he said. “What would I do with a book?” 
Lice was detected on a student at my grandson’s school, and the teacher  
told the girls in his first-grade class to wear their hair in a bun to  
discourage the lice.  
Needing clarification, my grandson asked,  
“A hot dog bun or a hamburger bun?” 
My five-year-old son is crazy about cars, so I took him to his first car  
show. He loved seeing all the different models and brands and gushed over  
the big engines, the colours, and even the wheels.  
But the car he was most impressed with was a hearse. 
“Mom!” he shouted. “Look at all this storage!” 

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