Newsletter and jokes 21 June 2019

Hi all 
Toy Story finally have their swansong this week... I suppose this is  
technically another trilogy in four parts. Reviews have been very good so 
the series is bowing out on a high note. The studios are hoping this will 
rescue them from the recent spate of below-par summer blockbusters which 
have been very disappointing the last few weeks.  
Looking ahead there is more good stuff coming, like Spider-Man and of  
course Disney's new Lion King. 
As for this week's lineup, another well-rated indie film is Booksmart,  
which is the Americanism for "boek-geleered" and which I thought had no 
English equivalent. I've already seen this film on a "best of 2019" list. 
This week's horror offering is "Ma," which has middling reviews. That's  
joined by a new killer movie from Luc Besson, which unfortunately has weak 
reviews from the press and confused reviews from the public reviews  
available. May be astroturf reviews.  
On the art circuit we take a biopic of famous Lord of the Rings author 
Tolkien, while this week's Bollywood offering is a romantic drama with  
Shahid Kapoor. 
On the previews side, there are isolated previews on Sunday for the  
upcoming South African Kwallywood family comedy Kings of Mulberry Street. 
See the previews page and remember to book. 
Enjoy :-) 
Releasing 14 June 2019 
* Toy Story 4 (3D) (PG V) 
* Toy Story 4 (PG V) 
* Toy Story 4 (3D IMAX) (PG V) 
* Booksmart (16 LSD) 
* Anna (16) 
* Ma (16 LNSVD) 
* Tolkien (16 VD) 
* Kabir Singh   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (Cellphone wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
Jimmy had trouble figuring out when to use I instead of me. Then one day,  
while creating a sentence in front of the first-grade class,  
Jimmy haltingly said, “I ... I ... I shut the door.” 
Realizing that he was right, he jumped up and down and shouted,  
“Me did it!” 
“How was your first day of school?” I asked my kindergartner. 
“Fine,” she said. “They want me to come back tomorrow.” 
How academics define a kiss: 
In maths: Two divided by nothing. 
In physics: The contraction of the mouth due to the expansion of the heart. 
In accounting: It’s a credit, because it is profitable when returned. 
In economics: A thing for which the demand is higher than the supply. 
My sixth-grade class would not leave me alone for a second.  
It was a constant stream of “Ms. Osborn?” “Ms. Osborn?” “Ms. Osborn?” 
Fed up, I said firmly, “Do you think we could go for just five minutes  
without anyone saying ‘Ms. Osborn’?!” 
The classroom got quiet. Then, from the back, a soft voice said, 
“Um ... Cyndi?” 
Mr. Harper sued a hospital, saying that after his wife had surgery there,  
she lost all interest in sex. 
A hospital spokesperson replied, “Mrs. Harper was admitted for cataract  
surgery. All we did was correct her eyesight.” 
When my three-year-old was told to pee in a cup at the doctor’s office,  
he unexpectedly got nervous.  
With a shaking voice, he asked, “Do I have to drink it?” 
My husband’s new “unbreakable” titanium eyeglasses broke. 
When he took the many pieces back to the optometrist to have the glasses  
replaced, the assistant asked what had happened. 
“They fell under the lawn mower,” he explained. 
“Oh,” she said, nodding. “Were you wearing them at the time?” 
I was working in a long-term-care facility, and there was a celebration for 
one of the residents. It was her 100th birthday. She was quite somnolent as  
the party began, so I asked her, “Do you know how old you are today?” 
“No, how old am I?” 
“You’re 100 years old.” 
“Well, no wonder I’m so tired.” 
After discussing a patient, the doctor ended his conversation by telling 
me, “I love you.”  
Following an awkward pause, he said,  
“I’m sorry, you were telling me what to do, so it made me think I was  
speaking with my wife.” 

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