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Newsletter and jokes: 21 June 2019

Hi all

Toy Story finally have their swansong this week... I suppose this is 
technically another trilogy in four parts. Reviews have been very good so
the series is bowing out on a high note. The studios are hoping this will
rescue them from the recent spate of below-par summer blockbusters which
have been very disappointing the last few weeks. 

Looking ahead there is more good stuff coming, like Spider-Man and of 
course Disney's new Lion King.

As for this week's lineup, another well-rated indie film is Booksmart, 
which is the Americanism for "boek-geleered" and which I thought had no
English equivalent. I've already seen this film on a "best of 2019" list.

This week's horror offering is "Ma," which has middling reviews. That's 
joined by a new killer movie from Luc Besson, which unfortunately has weak
reviews from the press and confused reviews from the public reviews 
available. May be astroturf reviews. 

On the art circuit we take a biopic of famous Lord of the Rings author
Tolkien, while this week's Bollywood offering is a romantic drama with 
Shahid Kapoor.

On the previews side, there are isolated previews on Sunday for the 
upcoming South African Kwallywood family comedy Kings of Mulberry Street.
See the previews page and remember to book.

Enjoy :-)

Releasing 14 June 2019

* Toy Story 4 (3D) (PG V)
* Toy Story 4 (PG V)
* Toy Story 4 (3D IMAX) (PG V)
* Booksmart (16 LSD)
* Anna (16)
* Ma (16 LNSVD)
* Tolkien (16 VD)
* Kabir Singh 

Forthcoming attractions

Updated the pic and quote on the home page

This Week's pinup (Cellphone wallpaper ...)

Pick of the Week 

All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.

List of all movies showing

Same list sorted by Age Restriction

Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.

Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)

Cheers, Ian


Jimmy had trouble figuring out when to use I instead of me. Then one day, 
while creating a sentence in front of the first-grade class, 
Jimmy haltingly said, “I ... I ... I shut the door.”

Realizing that he was right, he jumped up and down and shouted, 
“Me did it!”


“How was your first day of school?” I asked my kindergartner.

“Fine,” she said. “They want me to come back tomorrow.”


How academics define a kiss:

In maths: Two divided by nothing.

In physics: The contraction of the mouth due to the expansion of the heart.

In accounting: It’s a credit, because it is profitable when returned.

In economics: A thing for which the demand is higher than the supply.


My sixth-grade class would not leave me alone for a second. 
It was a constant stream of “Ms. Osborn?” “Ms. Osborn?” “Ms. Osborn?”

Fed up, I said firmly, “Do you think we could go for just five minutes 
without anyone saying ‘Ms. Osborn’?!”

The classroom got quiet. Then, from the back, a soft voice said,

“Um ... Cyndi?”


Mr. Harper sued a hospital, saying that after his wife had surgery there, 
she lost all interest in sex.

A hospital spokesperson replied, “Mrs. Harper was admitted for cataract 
surgery. All we did was correct her eyesight.”


When my three-year-old was told to pee in a cup at the doctor’s office, 
he unexpectedly got nervous. 

With a shaking voice, he asked, “Do I have to drink it?”


My husband’s new “unbreakable” titanium eyeglasses broke.

When he took the many pieces back to the optometrist to have the glasses 
replaced, the assistant asked what had happened.

“They fell under the lawn mower,” he explained.

“Oh,” she said, nodding. “Were you wearing them at the time?”


I was working in a long-term-care facility, and there was a celebration for
one of the residents. It was her 100th birthday. She was quite somnolent as 
the party began, so I asked her, “Do you know how old you are today?”

“No, how old am I?”

“You’re 100 years old.”

“Well, no wonder I’m so tired.”


After discussing a patient, the doctor ended his conversation by telling
me, “I love you.” 

Following an awkward pause, he said, 
“I’m sorry, you were telling me what to do, so it made me think I was 
speaking with my wife.”

BooksmartAnnaToy Story 4 (3D)TolkienMaToy Story 4 (3D IMAX)
Toy Story 4Kabir Singh
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