Newsletter and jokes 4 October 2019

Hi all 
So we're entering the adult-focused time of the year, with nothing new for  
the kiddines this week, but there is plenty on curcuit for them already. 
The big release this week of course is the award-winning and controversial 
Joker, which picks up Heath Ledger's character and runs with it ... 
Then we have a female-friendly variant on the A Star is Born story in Late  
Night, with TV star Mindy Kaling switching to the big screen for some adult 
and "politically-correct" comedy.  
The last release from Hollywood is a baseball-based "just got out of jail" 
story of a man trying to rebuild his lost career, in Bottom of the 9th. 
Both of these are on limited release. 
The subcontinent has two offerings, a historical freedom-fight releasing in 
both Hindi and Tamil, and a comedy in Tamil. 
Please check which version is showing at your local cinema for Sye Raa  
Narasimha Reddy, since not all chains specified which language they have  
and I defaulted to Hindi. 
There are no previews this week, but several music and theatres screenings, 
at selected venues: 
* Andre Rieu Maastricht 2019 (music) 
* Fleabag (theatre) 
* Metallica S&M 2 (music) 
* Roger Waters: Us and Them (music) 
See the Showtimes page (whole country) and remember to book. 
Released 4 October 2019 
* Joker (16 LVD) 
* Joker (IMAX) (16 LVD) 
* Late Night (16 LD) 
* Bottom of the 9th (16 LV) 
* Sye Raa Narasimha Reddy (Hindi) 
* Sye Raa Narasimha Reddy (Tamil) 
* Namma Veettu Pillai (Hindi)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (two full HD wallpapers ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
On Sam’s eighth birthday, my brother took him to a football game.  
During halftime, a Marine band played, and Sam studied them intently. 
“Why the interest in the band?” his father asked. 
“I’m checking to see if Ben and Matt from our synagogue are in it.  
They’re Marines.” 
“But they’re in Afghanistan.” 
“If I were in a marching band, I’d say I was in Afghanistan too.” 
As I was nursing my baby, my cousin’s six-year-old daughter, came into the  
room. Never having seen anyone breast-feed before, she was intrigued and  
full of all kinds of questions about what I was doing. 
After mulling over my answers, she remarked,  
“My mom has some of those, but I don’t think she knows how to use them.” 
I was telling my three boys the story of the Nativity and how the Wise Men  
brought gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh for the infant Jesus. 
Clearly giving it a lot of thought, my six-year-old observed,  
“Mom, a Wise Woman would have brought nappies.” 
When my eight-year-old sister came to visit, I took a day off from my job  
at the Pentagon and showed her the Lincoln Memorial.  
There she saw a large block of text—273 words long—etched into the monument. 
“What’s that?” she asked. 
“Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address,” I told her. 
“If that’s his address, how does he get any mail?” 
I overheard my seven-year-old son and his friends discussing the Tooth  
Fairy, Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. 
“Steven says it’s the parents who bring the toys,” he said skeptically,  
“but I know my parents wouldn’t know how to drive the reindeer.” 
Her class assignment was to interview an “old person” about his life, so my  
niece asked me,  
“What was the biggest historical event that happened during your childhood?” 
“I’d have to say the moonwalk,” I replied. 
She looked disappointed. “That dance was so important to you?” 
My mother was away all weekend at a business conference. During a break,  
she decided to call home collect.  
My six-year-old brother picked up the phone and heard a stranger’s voice  
say, “We have a Marcia on the line. Will you accept the charges?” 
Frantic, he dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming,  
“Dad! They’ve got Mom! And they want money!” 
Our elementary school was honouring local veterans.  
The students were a bit intimidated and didn’t know how to approach them. 
“Start by introducing yourself,” I said. “Then ask what branch of the  
military they served in.” 
One student walked over to a veteran and promptly asked,  
“What tree are you from?” 
Studying our wedding photos, my six-year-old asked,  
“Did you marry Dad because he was good-looking?” 
“Not really,” I replied. 
“Did you marry him for his money?” 
“Definitely not,” I laughed. “He didn’t have any.” 
“So,” he said, “you just felt sorry for him.” 

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