Newsletter and jokes 11 October 2019

Hi all 
While the rugby players dodge the weather, you can enjoy the latest  
releases in air-conditioned comfort at your local cinema... 
We've got a bit of something for everyone this week, starting as per usual 
with the kiddies (but not the very young). That would be a new look at The  
Addams Family, now animated rather than the previous live-action film. 
For the teens and up, we have the futuristic thriller starring Will Smith 
and Will Smith (or the Fresh Prince and the Genie, if you prefer) Gemini 
Man. This is showing in 2D, 3D, and IMAX and 4DX, but the large-formats 
are only 2D, not 3D. Despite the big budget and special effects, it failed 
to impress the critics, but it may turn out to be a crowd-pleaser. 
Then we have a new local comedy, Zulu Wedding, which has been re-scheduled 
a few times before hitting the screens today. Despite the name and  
storyline, it is in English. 
On the art-circuit-and-related we have two offerings, the first is 
the film version of the best-selling novel The Goldfinch, while the other 
is the Palme d’Or winner (Cannes, 2019) Korean film Parasite. This won't be 
everyone's cup of tea but comes highly recommended, and it's showing at 
several other venues apart from the Nouveaus. 
Lastly we have a Bollywood romance, The Sky is Pink. 
On the previews side, there are premieres next Wednesday evening for the  
upcoming (somewhat controversial) local comedy Blessers, and premieres on 
Thursday evening for the sequel to Maleficent, namely Maleficent: Mistress  
of Evil. See the previews page and remember to book. 
Released 11 October 2019 
* The Addams Family (3D) (PG10-12 VPH) 
* The Addams Family (PG10-12 VPH) 
* Gemini Man (3D) (13 LV) 
* Gemini Man (13 LV) 
* Gemini Man (IMAX) (13 LV) 
* Gemini Man (4DX) (13 LV) 
* Zulu Wedding (13 LSD) 
* The Goldfinch (16 LVD) 
* Parasite (16 LSVD) 
* The Sky is Pink   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (hi-res cellphone wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
At my ten-year-old’s request, I loaded my Rolling Stones tunes onto his  
“I had no idea you liked the Stones,” I said. 
“Sure. I like all that old-fashioned music,” he said. 
“What do you mean, ‘old-fashioned music’?” 
“You know,” he said defensively. “Music from the 1900s.” 
My thirteen-year-old nephew thought his “gangsta” outfit — low-riding pants 
and exposed boxers — made him look cool. That is, until the day his  
five-year-old cousin took notice.  
“Nathaniel,” she yelled out in front of everyone.  
“Your panties are showing.” 
Our six-year-old daughter, Terra, has a need to ask questions... lots of  
questions. Finally, one day, my wife had had it. 
“Have you ever heard that curiosity killed the cat?” my wife asked. 
“No,” replied Terra. 
“Well, there was a cat, and he was very inquisitive. And one day, he looked 
into a big hole, fell in, and died!” 
Terra was intrigued: “What was in the hole?” 
While my three-year-old grandson was attending a birthday party, his  
friend’s father sneaked off to take a shower before work.  
Halfway through, the father heard a tapping on the shower door, followed by  
the sight of my grandson peering in. Looking around the stall, he asked,  
“Is my mom in here?” 
My sister got a call from her son’s kindergarten teacher.  
When he’d gone in to check on little James in the bathroom, he noticed the  
boy was using a urinal.  
“That’s odd,” my sister said. “We never taught him how to use a urinal.” 
“I could tell,” said the teacher. “He was sitting in it.” 
Up on the screen at our local multiplex, the star whispered to his female  
costar, “I want you to be my mistress.” 
“What’s a mistress?” my eight-year-old granddaughter yelled out. 
Then the man gave the woman a passionate kiss. 
“Never mind,” my granddaughter said. 
“Daddy,” said my eleven-year-old daughter, “I think I want to join the  
“Baby,” I answered, “I think the Air Force would be a better option for  
“But I don’t want to be a pilot.” 
“You don’t have to be a pilot,” I told her. “There are other jobs in the  
Air Force.” 
Her answer: “I don’t want to be an air hostess either.” 
Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up  
because they’re looking for ideas. 
Our family was dazzled by the sights and the bustling crowds during a visit 
to Manhattan.  
“This is the city that never sleeps,” I told my eleven-year-old daughter. 
“That’s probably because there’s a Starbucks on every corner,” she observed. 

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