Hi all Only one new film opening this week, which was Lesotho's entry for the Oscars. Given the nature of the film, it is on limited release, but there are plenty of other mainstream movies already on circuit for your viewing pleasure. On the previews side, there are previews all over all day Saturday for next week's A Quiet Place Part II. This is part of the growing trend towards "arthouse quality" in main-stream horror films. Early reviews are very good, just like with the first in the series. See the previews page and remember to book. New this week: * This Is Not a Burial, It's a Resurrection (PG10-12 V) https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm Forthcoming attractions https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm Updated the pic and quote on the home page https://www.moviesite.co.za/ This Week's pinup https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (Cellphone wallpaper ...) List of all movies showing https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm Same list sorted by Age Restriction https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm Showtimes https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) Enjoy :-) Cheers, Ian --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fries should be offered more often, like, “Yes, your mortgage was approved. Would you like fries with that?” Once heard a guy climbed Everest “because it was there” and just feel like the reason for one of the most strenuous feats in existence should be different to the reason I ate an entire litre of ice cream. Saw some idiot at the gym put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Male teachers at my old school had to wear suits. But one colleague always managed to subvert the dress code by wearing the ugliest ties. Every day, staff and students alike couldn’t wait to see what hideous accessory he had on. When he retired, I finally asked him, “Why the ugly ties?” He responded, “Because that way, no one would ever know I only owned one suit.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I gave a presentation to a small town as part of my role with North Carolina’s department of transportation. At the end, I asked whether there were any questions. There was. “Can we move the deer-crossing sign on the state-owned road?” asked a councilperson. “Why?” I asked. “That location isn’t a safe place for the deer to cross.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- When I worked at an employment agency, I was interviewing a candidate for an entry-level job. I read his application as we talked: name, address, year of graduation and so on. Then I looked at what he had written next to the box that read “Position desired.” “Near a window,” it said. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- My kindergarten student needed a glue stick, so I opened my supply cabinet to see what I had. “Wow! You have a lot of stuff!” he said. “You must make a lot of money. Where do you work, anyway?” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- When you say ping me I want to punch you. It’s true. Bio break too. It makes me cringe. And if I’m being honest I don’t care about your ducks or the row they’re in. I don’t know what net-net means unless it’s being said by an excited tennis announcer. Come to think of it let’s not circle back or drill down or take a deep dive or take it off-line or level the playing field or create action items and honestly I don’t care if this won’t scale and may I add that going forward I would like to park this project. And this job. I quit. Now. Sorry. I have a hard stop. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- God is speaking to Moses. God: I’ve got good news and bad news. Moses: Give me the good news first. God: The good news is that you have been chosen to deliver my people from bondage. I will force the pharaoh to free the people by sending plagues of locusts, frogs, darkness, devastation and more. The pharaoh’s armies will chase you all the way to the Red Sea, but don’t worry. I will help you part the waters to aid your escape. Moses: So, what’s the bad news? God: You have to prepare the environmental impact statement. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was my wedding day, and no one was happier than my 78-year-old mother. But as she approached the church doors, an usher asked, “Which side are you on?” “Oh, no,” she said. “Are they fighting already?” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Recipes used to be terse instructions handwritten on an index card. Now you scroll through a Paris engagement story before you get to how to make the soup. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- When your mother asks, “Do you want some advice?” it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway. You can measure the happiness of a marriage by the number of scars that each partner carries on their tongues, earned from years of biting back angry words.