Newsletter and jokes 22 October 2021


 
Hi all 
 
It's been a long wait but finally Dune hits the screens in all its glory. 
This film is best enjoyed on the biggest screens, and has good reviews from 
the critics.  
 
Dune is a difficult book to translate to the screen, and this is intended  
to be the first episode of a franchise, covering the first part of book one  
of six. 
 
For the little ones, we have a new animated treat, Ron's Gone Wrong, that  
has had curiosly mixed reviews. It may just appeal to different people 
differently. 
 
At the more art-end of the market, we have the tense thriller The Card 
Counter. 
 
If you have not read Dune, you should :-). It's an education like no other. 
 
New this week: 
 
* Ron's Gone Wrong (PG V) 
* Dune (3D) (13 V) 
* Dune (13 V) 
* Dune (3D IMAX) (13 V) 
* The Card Counter (16 LNSVD) 
 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm   
 
Forthcoming attractions 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the pic and quote on the home page 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
This Week's pinup 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full HD wallpaper ...)  
 
List of all movies showing 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
Showtimes 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm  
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
 
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Done with dating sites. 
 
I’m now focusing on pizza delivery guys because at least I know they have a 
job, a car and pizza. 
 
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Honestly, my biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking. 
 
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“I don’t want a whole dessert; let’s just get two spoons.”  
 
    —Former friends of mine 
     
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I’ve invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. 
 
You start being friends with the entire world and defriend people one by one. 
 
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Haircuts are great because I did none of the work but get all of the credit. 
 
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My five-year-old hasn’t said a word in the car after I convinced him that 
the volume control on our stereo ejects his car seat. 
 
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Sometimes at night, after my son has gone to bed, I go into my room and  
finish all my sentences. 
 
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What should we call this giant advertising board? 
Phil: A philboard. 
Bill: I have a better idea. 
 
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SHIPWRECK DIARY 
 
Day 1: Alone, doing well. Mentally sound. Met a crab. 
 
Day 2: I have married the crab. 
 
Day 3: I have eaten my wife. 
 
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I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor’s  
office was full of portraits by Picasso. 
 
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Russian dolls are so full of themselves. 
 
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Think of how stupid the average person is and realize half of them are 
stupider than that.  
 
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When my wife gets a little upset, sometimes a simple “Calm down” in a  
soothing voice is all it takes to get her a lot upset. 
 
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We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet. 
@CIA 
 
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Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary.  
 
What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest and disingenuous. 
 
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Autocorrect walks into a bar.  
 
Bartender says, “What can I get you?”  
 
Autocorrect says, “I’ll have a bear. A bare. Bier. Briar. Never mind.” 
 
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Who called it your foot ‘falling asleep’ and not ‘coma toes’? 
 
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Mom, Dad, I’m a gatherer. 
 
—Caveman coming out to his parents 
 
 



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