Newsletter and jokes 12 November 2021

Hi all 
Only two new releases this week. 
First up, for the very little ones, is the animated tale The Ladybug: Fly  
Away Home.  
For the adults, we have the off-beat new film from director Wes Anderson,  
The French Dispatch, or to give it its full, official title,  
The French Dispatch of the Liberty, Kansas Evening Sun. The film received 
a 9 minute standing ovation at the Cannes Film Festival. It's on at venues 
which typically show art movies. 
There is a launch event for the new local comedy sequel, New Material,  
at Gateway next Thursday night.  
Killarney Mall has two screenings of the Cliff Richard "live" music event, 
while the opera Boris Godunov is screening on the art-and-similar circuit. 
Lastly, Rustenburg is hosting a film festival with a range of films. 
Enjoy :-) 
New this week: 
* The Ladybug: Fly Away Home (PG V) 
* The French Dispatch (16 LNV)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper ...)  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Enjoy :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
Don't mess with the old people... 
Abba’s new album Voyage has become the fastest-selling album in the UK in  
four years - pushing chart heavyweight Ed Sheeran’s latest record = (Equals)  
into second place. 
The Swedish pop icons have sold an incredible 181,712 copies of the album  
in just six days. 
Ed Sheeran looked set to hold the title of fastest-selling album of 2021  
after shifting 139,000 copies in a week, but Abba have since smashed that  
My friend George adopted an adorable but stubborn terrier puppy who refused  
to be housebroken.  
Frustrated, George signed them both up for expensive obedience classes. 
Recently, I saw man and pup out for a walk and asked how the training was  
“Well,” George said, “I don’t poop in the house anymore.” 
A frog appears in front of Patricia Whack, a bank teller, and asks: “Ms 
Whack, I’d like to obtain a bank loan, on consideration of this blue 
marble elephant as collateral.” 
Patricia goes to her manager, who asks to see this talking frog in 
person. As it turns out, his name is Kermit Jagger, and he is the son of 
Mick Jagger. 
The manager promptly nods in approval, and Patricia cannot believe what she  
is witnessing. 
So she whispers in his ear, “Sir, are you sure about this? I mean, not 
considering the fact that he’s a frog, his collateral is a blue marble  
elephant. I mean, what the heck is a blue marble elephant?” 
The bank manager replies: “It’s a knick-knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a  
loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.” 
Actors who could cure my lisp?  
I’m pretty sure Anne Hathaway but I’m going to ask Colin Firth.  
Mum No. 1: How on earth do you get your sleepyhead son to wake up 
in the morning? 
Mum No. 2: I just put the cat on the bed. 
Mum No. 1: How does that help? 
Mum No. 2: The dog’s already there. 
I work as a customs officer and yesterday was my yearly review.  
It didn’t go very well, apparently they think I’m borderline incompetent. 
People say being a waiter is a bad job, but hey, it puts food on the table! 
Two neighbours live side by side. One is rich and the other one is poor. 
The poor neighbour has a magic lamp. Every morning, he rubs the lamp and a  
genie comes out and intones, “Ask whatever you want.” And the poor man 
asks for a cup of tea. 
The rich neighbour, envious of the magic lamp, offers the poor man his  
magnificent house and flashy car in exchange for the lamp. 
Gleefully, the rich man takes the magic lamp home and rubs it.  
Out pops the genie, who intones, “Ask whatever you want.” 
“Can I have an even bigger house and an even better car?” asks the rich man. 
“Sorry, sir, I only serve tea and coffee,” replies the genie. 
What happens when you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN?  
They get really upset. 

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