Hi all Only two new releases this week. First up is the video-game cross-over, Uncharted, which, with it's high-action set pieces, is best seen on the large IMAX screens. For the adults, we have a new local rom-com, Singleholic, to extend the Valentine's Day romanctic vibes. Lastly, the Malayalam action thriller Aaraattuu is showing at Killarney. New this week: * Uncharted (13 LV) * Uncharted (IMAX) (13 LV) * Singleholic (18 LNSD) * Aaraattuu (Malayalam) https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm Forthcoming attractions https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm Updated the pic and quote on the home page https://www.moviesite.co.za/ This Week's pinup https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full HD wallpaper ...) List of all movies showing https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm Same list sorted by Age Restriction https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm Showtimes https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) Enjoy :-) Cheers, Ian --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I have a love-hate relationship with my son-in-law, Kelvin. This year he obviously bought my Mother’s Day Card. It read, "If I won the lottery, I would pick out the best old age home just for you, No matter how far away it is from me." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Picking up an old Bible at his grandad’s the other day, my four-year-old looked puzzled when a large dried leaf fell out from among the pages. "Ooh look, Mummy," he exclaimed, "This must be some of Adam and Eve's clothes." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Many years ago when my daughter was about two, she was playing in the garden under my watchful eye from the kitchen. As she started to do her best effort at running, she stumbled on the edge of the path and fell onto her knee. I saw it happen and ran out to her to comfort her and minimise her already legendary screaming, but there was silence. Instead, with a look of wonder in her eyes, she excitedly said to me, "Look, Mummy, there's tomato sauce coming out of my leg!". --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I can’t remember how to write the numbers one, 1000, 51, six or 500 in Roman numerals. IM LIVID. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I met my girlfriend at a West Side Story fight re-enactment society. We just clicked. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I always have to watch Golden Eye before eating ready meals because the packaging says, “Pierce film before cooking”. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Actor Vin Diesel eats just two meals a day. Breakfast and breakfurious. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Preacher: Any prayer requests? Three ducks in a trench coat from the last pew: Do the one about our daily bread! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- We thought it was our ability to love that made us human. Turns out it was our ability to “select each image containing traffic lights.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cashier: “That will be R19.99, please.” Me: Pulls out a R50 note. Cashier: “Sorry, we’ve been having a problem with counterfeit money — have you got anything smaller? Me: “Sure.” Pulls out a R30 note. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Aliens visit Earth. They come in peace, and surprisingly, they speak English. Obviously, all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens, so they set up a meeting with our new visitors. When it’s the Pope’s turn, he asks: “Do you know about our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ?” “You mean JC?”, responds the alien. “Yeah, we know him! He’s the greatest, isn’t he? He swings by every year to make sure we’re doing OK”. Surprised, the Pope follows up with: “He visits every year?! It’s been over 2 millennia and we’re still waiting for his second coming!” The alien sees that the Pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalise. “Well, maybe he just likes our chocolate better than yours?” The Pope retorts, “Chocolates? What are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?” The alien says, “Well, when he first visited our planet we gave him a huge box of chocolates! Why? What did you guys do?”. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Has COVID-19 forced you to wear a mask and glasses at the same time? You may be entitled to condensation. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- When receiving payment in gold coins, pirates used to verify their purity by biting into them. Bitcoin goes way back. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- “I love my job!” Exclaimed the farmer. “All you do is boss me around all day!” complained one of his sheep. “What did you say?” challenged the farmer, walking over to him. The sheep stood his ground, glared back and growled... “You herd me.”