Newsletter and jokes 26 April 2024


 
Hi all 
 
The big release this week is the action comedy The Fall Guy, starring  
Ryan Gosling, Emily Blunt, and is-he-isn't-he-James-Bond Aaron Taylor-Johnson. 
Reviews have been mostly favourable. It's also on the big IMAX and 4DX screens. 
 
For the kiddies, we have the animated kitty tale, 10 Lives. 
 
The gritty action thriller Boy Kills World got slapped with an 18 age res, 
it's on at most venues. It stars Bill Skarsgård and Famke Janssen. 
 
Bollywood offers the action thriller Ruslaan, with Aayush Sharma and Vidya 
Malvade. 
 
The next two episodes in the TV series, The Chosen: Season 4, are showing 
at selected venues, while Korean group aespa will be screening again on 
Saturday at Canal Walk. 
 
The ballet Swan Lake by The Royal Ballet is on at selected venues on Sunday. 
 
Enjoy. :-) 
 
New this week 
 
* 10 Lives (PG V) 
* The Fall Guy (16 LVD) 
* The Fall Guy (IMAX) (16 LVD) 
* The Fall Guy (4DX) (16 LVD) 
* Boy Kills World (18 LVHP) 
* Ruslaan  
 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm   
 
Forthcoming attractions 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the home page poster 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
List of all movies showing 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
Showtimes 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm  
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
Yesterday I purchased a world map 
 
I gave my wife a dart and said to her "Throw this, and wherever it lands,  
I'm gonna take you on a holiday". 
 
Turns out, we're spending 3 weeks behind the fridge. 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
I recently visited an old tobacco shop I used to frequent, just to discover  
it had recently been converted into a thrift store.  
 
Clothes, but no cigar. 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
My friend thinks a pint is the most elite unit of measurement. 
 
But the metric version is a litre. 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
With the rise in self-driving cars... 
 
...it is only a matter of time until there is a country song where a guy's  
truck leaves him. 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
One day, 50 politicians were flying across the country in an airplane when 
the plane started to experience mechanical problems.  
 
The plane crashed in a remote rural area. It took an hour for the first  
police car to arrive at the scene.  
 
There was an old farmer was sitting on his tractor beside the wreckage.  
 
The police man got out of his car and looked inside the smashed fuselage.  
 
To his surprise, it was completely empty.  
 
He asked the farmer, "Where are all of the politicians who were on the plane?" 
 
The farmer replied, "I dug a big hole with my tractor and buried them." 
 
The police man asked, "How could you be sure they were all dead?" 
 
The old farmer said, "Well, some of them insisted they were still alive, but  
you know, you can never believe anything a politician says." 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
Your days are numbered! 
 
Yes.  
 
It would be weird if they were alphabetized. 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
Married life is like Coca Cola 
 
Initially it was "normal", then it became "light" and now it is "zero". 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? 
 
You look for the fresh prints. 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
My wife asked me to create a step-by-step plan for what to do if she  
encounters a bug in our apartment. 
 
What to do if you spot a bug: 
 
    Step on it. 
 
It's a one-step plan. 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
I remember visiting Utah once. 
 
I stayed at a nice little Ma and Pa and Ma and Ma and Ma and Ma Inn.  
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
When my boss came into the IT department and saw me using two keyboards at  
once, he said "Trust a geek to use two keyboards at once". 
 
"Hey!" I said. "That's stereotyping.” 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
What did the pirate say when he turned 80? 
 
Aye Matey. 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
In 3026 years, life will either be really good, or really bad... 
 
It will be 5050. 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
I went to a costume party and the host immediately started to pick on me. 
 
"What's your costume?" he asked. 
 
"A harp." 
 
"You're too small to be a harp," he told me. 
 
I was indignant. "Are you calling me a lyre?"  
 
 



Xax International logo
 Xax International
 2019
 All rights reserved.